whiney me.

coming home from school friday night, we passed by this scene where an unconscious guy (a motorcycle accident i presume) was being carried by 5 men from the middle of the street onto a puj. i saw this because the usiseros in front of me were driving slow. i was so tempted to open my window and scream,"mga bobo kayo, lalong mamamatay yan eh!". the men where half carrying, half dragging the poor guy. i even saw one of the guy's leg reaching the roof of the puj while the other was still on the concrete. oh wow. whatever injuries he might have already sustained, i'm sure they made them more complicated. then i thought, man, the guy's really in deep shit.

now the men carrying him kinda dictated his fate: i'm betting either he'll die quick or stay in a chair for the rest of his life. and of course, he wasn't able to choose.

deep shit.

like earlier today, cyrus was leashed in front of the house. and he, at four months, is really big and strong. he pulled and his collar tore. amazing, my dog. so he ran around the garage, grabbed a bone from kyla's dish and ran inside the house. i couldn't restrain him because i don't have anything to grab with his collar missing. anyway he ran back outside and started running on top of the wooden boards that covered 4 feet holes(dad had them dug up to have house posts made). i kinda panicked. and he fell. cyrus in deep shit. well, he seemed to enjoy his minute inside the muddy hole (and i just gave him a bath) but cooperated when i started pulling him out. i think he was shocked by the fall too, because he became quiet for a minute or two. there, i had to carry all of his 40 pounds back into his cage. he didn't argue after me with that. he fell because he had no choice. he's still a baby. and for crying out loud, he's a dog!

i have a couple of things in my mind. but they all came from one root.

i guess i do have a choice. but i suffocate myself.

i should be happy. we confirmed our show's date. and i've been hanging out more often with my bestfriends. but somehow, i still can't say that i am out of misery. i just hate it. i even hate listening to myself anymore. hmm.

what now?

some people are really lucky. ho hum.

as for those people who weren't born to study or to get lucky, sleep on it.

goodnight.zzzz...