i always get these recurring dreams i never remember upon waking up. of course while i'm dreaming the dream, it reminds me that i've been in that scene before. a deja vu of dreams. these dreams are probably of memories best forgotten or stored within the innermost depths of my subconscious. still, they give me that feeling of anxiety, probably the reason why i've never had a decent night's sleep in a long time. there are also nights when i would rather not sleep unless i get too physically drained from activities that seem futile in regards with the greater good of mankind.
my dreams are mostly the type of dreams that one would probably get inspiration from, perhaps, if i where a filmaker or an animator, they would totally be useful. they aren't totally surreal, but they have that certain characterisitic where scenery (cinematography) snd twists(plots) would bag an award in the urian. thanks to the fact that i'm neither, i don't have to attend the awards night. however, they just provide the dark my paintings and mostly my life in general, would require. but that's beyond the point.
if dreams are mirrors of our lives, mine would probably show the unspoken truth about me. in that parallel universe, i confidently run from who i am, regardless of the nature of my stature. in dreams, i am capable. to live in that world, where things i've seen before or things i learned 2 years ago and failures i've met three years ago are in control. but contrary to the things i've said before, i get anxious in my sleep. but still i can run. and all i have to do is wake up for it to stop.
too bad, i must wake up. for in reality, in every waking hour, all i can do is cower, and then escape to dream, and wake up to escape the dream. repeat.
when the cool air comes through the window, my body wants to crawl under the sheets, but my mind is always wide awake, in search for the mosters in my closet.
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