goodbye, bed

going to china today. argh, instead of starting to work out this week, i feel like i am procrastinating again. so i'll just walk around dong tien li yuan every afternoon for 2 weeks to avoid the guilty feelings i will start having if i don't exercise. since i won't have anything better to do there(no blogging and no facebook), i'll try not to have any excuses anymore.

i'll miss my friends and most especially, my bed.

and when i get back, i will try to do something different. gah, only if i get the guts to. haha.

mabatong kinabukasan

ahhh...i'm feeling better now. thanks to the weather change.

so sad about the devastation brought by the typhoon but i feel worse about the fact that this showed us that most of our countrymen clearly has to no respect for our earth. the floods revealed how filthy we are and honestly, i feel that it is also us that brought about this unfortunate situation.

now that the flood waters unearthed the filth, i hope that we become more conscious about our responsibility as citizens of this planet.

but the strong winds cleaned up the air and that is a blessing.

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it's been a few weeks already that i've been trying to clean up the house. a lot of unnecessary things have accumulated and i think that this is the reason i have too much negative energy around. so far, we've fixed the roof and some of the walls, garage floors have been scrubbed, trash taken out, and junk have been sorted. so what can i do to dispose old dvds that don't work anymore? sa tv kasi napapanood ko na sinusunog lang ni edu manzano at ni bong revilla. my friend mark said we can make costumes for halloween. giant disco balls daw kami. haha. seriously, i'd like to know.

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there's this guy i like. well, i don't think i really "like" him because i don't really know him. haha. he's lanky.haha. about 6 feet. and he's got a really strong jaw(drool), and he's kinda tisoy. just my type. LOL. crushing lang ako. itago na lang natin sya sa pangalang totoy bato.

saw him at a gathering once but we never were introduced. saw him again at this party and he came over to say hi. he's also an artist but he's into functional art. he works with wood. yuk. obvious na. hahaha! buti na lang wala kaming common friends na nagbabasa ng blog ko kundi buking na naman ako. we had small talk, well, a lot of it, during the party. there was this awkward time pa nga, kasi i was sitting on a very low chair and he came over ulit, medyo weird pala when you talk to the crotch of a really tall guy. hahaha! shempre i stood up kasi sabi ko sa kanya i can hardly hear him from down there. he got my number and medyo business-y naman un mga messages nya kasi he thought we can do business together. hayyyy, i'm willing to learn a new craft para sa kanya. ahahaha! pathetic!

anyway, the other day, he was at a party with a common friend. and he knows pala na i actually exist. he even knows daw na i went to his workshop but he wasn't there(i was dragged by some friends kahit ayoko!!!*with kikay voice and kilig*). according to my friend, he is looking daw for a girlfriend, early 30's and responsible. hallllleeerrr!!!pasok ako sa requirements! ahahaha! at itong friend ko naman, vinolunteer ako(anu beh!!!!*with kikay voice and kilig ulit*). pero ang perfect dun, he wants time daw to try lang, like for a year. kasi he doesn't really know what to do yet..haha, pangarap ko kasi, ganun, parang hanging out lang. perfect. papadala ko na resume ko at artist profile ko. mejo my friend was surprised when she found out that totoy bato is only 26. exactly my type! LOL.

so kaya pala, whenever i say " i don't like men", claire agrees. kasi daw i like boys. haha! but dati, a long time ago, i promised myself na hindi ako magkaka crush from their clan, kasi i've been to his niece's party dati, at ako nag pinaka dark ang skin! i stand out. haha. and the kids pa call me "face painting lady" hahaha.

mabato talaga to. walang future. cute cute nya, sarap ipag drive pag lasing sya.

going back to china on monday. sana umulan ng pera so i can finish the house repairs. at sana mag text na sya ulit. ahaha!

huwaw, labo...

been reading old entries. grabe. was insanely whiney pala, lalo na nung 2008. well, if i can go back, i'd write about love and world peace and taking care of trees. haha. well, to survive this cruel cruel world, i have to rant here. spares everyone from listening. i take everything back.

not for reading

i think i have to write down this one. this is kind of too soon, but i have to process it this way. i am not the type of person who asks for advice and shit, but i do rant a lot. but this is something difficult for me to verbalize, even to my closest friends. they usually would give far out pieces of advice, and even though they have the purest of intentions, it simply doesn't add up. after this entry, i hope i can focus again.

i was almost level-headed. i've been praying, struggling, and working on some private matters(well, they're not really private as i have blogged about it a gazillion times). i was hit by the big 3-O on a most normal day. i quietly celebrated with my family since most of my friends were unavailable that day. of course i had a lovely time with my pamangkins and cousins. i was stable.

the week after that(my birthday was on a friday), i found myself floating again. do you know how it feels to be both happy and scared at the same time? i wasn't confused, i had already established the position where i am supposed to stand. of all the things i am asking for, i know this is the prayer that will not be answered. and i have accepted it. i was doing well already.

i cannot imagine how only one person can turn my world around, inspire me, make me breath, and break me apart. i knew where it was headed for, but still, i dove in. while i was there, i was already expecting the end, yet, i kept praying for more. it was like setting myself up in a trap; i know i had no where to go. i was telling myself, if this is part of the process, it surely is confusing. confusing because i didn't know how it fit in the equation. was i to do more than just accept things? do i have to walk away from it, too? say out loud that enough is enough? i didn't want to think that fate was that severe, and i was afraid that bitterness will find its way in.

last saturday's storm brought a wall of rain and darkness was once again my friend. it was like as if they sky was crying with me. i was feeling the weakening of the ties that i thought would at least last a little longer. i was in agony, but i was hoping it would stay.

it died a natural death. it already did once, a long time ago. and it went again the same way. a lot of questions are stuck in my mind. how can someone run away from love when it's being offered without any conditions? are emotional and spiritual connections even real? did we ever exist? were we ever true? i came to the point where i asked for a sign. funny that the sign i was given caused me to think again. am i asking for the right one? i looked for the logic and found some and laughed to myself. i just want to figure out how i am supposed to do this. it may take me a few more weeks, maybe months, but i know i will figure this out.

i am over the fact that my prayer will not be answered. i have accepted, maybe even embraced it. but one thing remains constant. i love.

a whole lotta stuff and sh*t

wow, september really is one hella month. we got birthdays, traffic violations, and typhoons; name it, september's gotta have it.

i don't remember much from early september as i was half asleep, half awake most of that time. i remember going to tagaytay with mumai, though. just cleaned most parts of karen's house and bagheera, the outside cat, gave birth.

i remember going to the LTO 2 days before my birthday to get my license renewed. got there around 1:30pm and the line was already LONG. but the medical exam and drug test went quickly. amazing! i failed the drug test. negative? haha. went back to the LONG line and was able to get my photo taken. BUT. i was informed that i had to go to the MMDA office because i have a traffic violation, all the way from 2005.
**dream sequence**
got out of the office around 5am and was on my way home with blythe. it was around 5:30am, no cars along EDSA, driving fast OUTSIDE the bus lane. about 300 meters away from the crossing where the road will fork, i prepared to go to the outer lane. an old van cuts me from my right. i cursed loudly, and was about 200 meters away from the fork when i switched lanes. damn the mmda guy flags me to stop. guess what? SWERVING daw. POTRES. dalawa lang kaming sasakyan sa EDSA, di nya ba nakita ung nangyari???mababangga daw ako. i said, kaya nga na-delay ang pag switch ko ng lanes kasi muntik na ko banggain nung nag-cut sa akin. it was almost time for breakfast. didnt have money to give to the guy, asked for a ticket. i remember laughing and crying at the same time because of frustration. i was too tired to get angry. he gave me a ticket for DRIVING IN THE BUS LANE para cheaper ang fine. salamat ha. yeah, wasnt able to pay that since i wasnt able to ask anyone to go to the bank for me and i was deep in sleep during bank hours those days.
**tapos na**

so the next day, i went to guadalupe to pay for the 200 peso ticket. got there a little after lunch time. i was wearing comfy clothes: slacks, shirt,and slippers. ah. BAWAL ANG SHORTS.BAWAL ANG SANDO. BAWAL ANG SINYELAS. had to buy a pair of socks for 30 pesos. ayun. i spent like 2 or 3 hours there. wasnt really bad, but was really annoyed at watching grown men being told to sit down while waiting for their turn 5 times! i wonder, how difficult is it to wait while sitting down? i had no problems doing that. i think i even fell asleep while waiting.

friday came. i turned 30 and went to the bank to get some cash for my license. i only had a little, and i still had to buy some stuff for dinner with the kids. was so proud of myself for riding a jeep to the bank. it was really freaky hot that morning. and no fx was passing the bank that day. i got onto another jeep to go to the LTO(which i looked forward to, since it is in a mall, and there is AC there) halfway there, the jeep's engine overheated or something. haha. malas. ok lang since it was still early. i got off and got in another one. i got to the mall around 12:15. decided to get lunch. since i was on a tight budget, i decided to eat at chow king.

so i had my birthday lunch at chowking. ate kangkong with bagoong and lumpiang shanghai. how lonely.

went to the LTO before it opened. it was like 12:45. by 12:50, a huge crowd had already formed. at 12:55, the guy inside posted a sign that said the card machine is broken and will be giving out temp licenses only. i started to rant at camille who called me to greet me. i got to the verification window without bruises and scratches. went to sit, and realized that i already had my picture taken so that means my card was probably ready after all. and it was. sweet.

went to get chicken and other stuff. was in the grocery for a long time because i had to stay inside my budget. it took me a long time to compute prices and put back stuff in the shelves. LOL. and when i got out of the building, the sky was falling. ah, my birthday will never be complete without the rain.

haha. every one loved dinner. my fruit-stuffed roast chicken was a hit.

ah ang haba. and it's just the sh*t part pa lang. ahahahha.

cleaning up and inspiring

hello again. i'm done for the day with work and it's still early so i guess i have a lot of time to blog. LOL.

last month, before i went to china, i considered doing the master cleanse detox. it's something you do for at least 10 days to clean up. for losing weight, cleaning up your bodies of toxins, and to jumpstart a new lifestyle. i had told lelets about it and she was hesitant. i decided to do it anyway. i told my mum about it and emailed to her the articles i found about it.

the master cleanse is at least 10 days of lemonade. here's the recipe for one pint of the mix:
-juice from one lemon
-3 tbsp pure maple syrup(organic is the best, don't use flavored syrups. we cut down to 1 1/2 for our mix since we were targeting weight loss)
-1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
-the rest of the pint is non-chlorinated water
you get to drink 4 to 6 pints a day. but there's also the herbal laxatives at night and the salt water flush in the mornings.

mum did it ahead of me. i spoke to her on her 7th day and she was doing okay. it was also right on time because her work license expired and was home most of the time. mum lost 10 pounds and ten said she looks younger. surprisingly, lelets also agreed to do it before she leaves for europe. so we started august 25. we were sorta scared pa nga kasi the maple syrup is really expensive. but i was determined to do it and was focused on keeping a strong stand to motivate lelets. it was lelets' first time to do fasting; i did apple juice fasting a couple of times this year already.

it was kind difficult for me during the fast kasi a lot happened during those 10 days.

2nd day, party at manoli's for the launch of epy quizon's website, http://www.bananacueproject.com. there were bbq and beer and i had my lemonade. manoli was even offering me vodka for my juice. LOL. but i was stronger than that. hahah.seriously, it was funny because i stayed in the den and the bbq plate was right in front of me. danced to lovely music with kat. it was the first time, i think, that i didn't go home drunk from manoli's place. haha.

4th day was when i lost my phone. imagine, sitting in front of carlo and martin in chowking while they ate the lauriat plates. hahaha.

5th day, a saturday, i was again at manoli's for epy's daughter, misha's, party. i went there to paint faces. i stayed there only to do four faces, the kids weren't really interested in it. they were just having a lot of fun running around the garden. there was this cute kid, elias. he wanted me to make him into a fierce dragon. he was so happy with his face and showed off by hanging upside down on the monkey bars. he wasn't fierce; he kept on hugging me and sat on my lap and made me hug him. sooooo cute. i loved his brown curly hair. haha. when they started to bring out the food, i excused myself to go to another party. kids' party pa din. it was also my niece chloe's party. i got to gateway almost an hour and a half after the party started. and they were just starting to eat. ahhh...of course by that time i had no cravings for food. painted my pamangkins' faces and hugged a lot.

after that, the kids asked me if we can go to eastwood. i was running out of juice and had to settle for water. haha. so there with my truckload of pamangkins, we went. ayan, we stopped over at red mango. argh!! i love red mango's frozen yogurt, shempre ang galing ko, didn't have any.

it was also on the 5th day that joy's dad passed away. drove to the memorial chapels on day 6 and day 7. nainggit pa ko kay joy kasi she ate tokwa with tausi. leche.

10th day was another party at greenbelt 5. tinay invited me to bleach catastrophe. they had a launch party for cecille van straten's line in their store. argh. cibo and red wine. i just enjoyed watching samio and tope run around drunk and enjoyed more listening to samio speak in english. excused myself early and went home. happy that i overcame. haha

the 11th day is just orange juice day. and that was a really toxic day for me and lets. we had to go to galeria at 5 am to meet with someone. and got on a cab to get paper all the way to QC, and then to the printers in katips to drop of the files for bim and gen's invites. weird pa nga ang transition ko from the 10th to the 11th day kasi we didnt actually sleep.

anyway. i did cheat twice. i had 2 bananas during the thing. i was getting cramps and i think i needed potassium. anyhoo, i lost about 8 pounds. and my face looks thin. haha. lets lost a lot din.after that, ten did it and lost 10 pounds. my cousin,grace, did it, and lost 8 pounds. joy and kcue are doing it now. i bet they'll lose a lot.

the best part is the inspiring othere people to do it part. i can't eat processed food now. and rice is very hard for me to digest. i still eat cake, but not like before when i can finish one whole of a mini coffee crunch cake. lol.

now i need to exercise. i hope i can do yoga. but for now, i think i'll just walk around. will walk around legaspi over the weekend.

dork daw ako

so, it's been a long time and i have got a lot of stories to tell.

the story of the traveling cellphone

so eten got me a new phone. it's a chocolate nokia 6300. complete with plastic on the lcd. it was a month old when lelets asked me to go to the bank and to sm with her. so ok,i got dressed and put the phone in my right pocket. when i got in the car(sat on the backseat), she told me that we'll just go to the bank but we had to take her mom to a church somewhere in antips.

moved to the front seat after tita got out. we were going to pnb pala, which was a good thing kasi i had to go to NBS for some face paint. lelets went to get money and i went in the store na.when we got back to the car, i reached for my phone, which wasn't in my pocket. i looked for it in my bag, and it wasn't there. i actually even forgot if i did bring my phone with me. and i was like, uhm, mustve left it on the dining table.

we had to go to another bank and since the line was long in bpi, lets asked if she can go home muna to use the bathroom. i asked her to peek in my window to check if my phone was home. she got back after 30 minutes and told me that she didn't see anything. so we went back home. i checked the table, the bed, the other tables, hala, my phone wasnt anywhere to be found. told lets about it.

lelets felt a little guilty ata and said we should retrace our steps. haha, and for more drama, it started to rain, hard. went back to the church, asked around, no one came to turn in the phone(super busy nung place kasi they were selling cheap rice that day). i was feeling ok naman, trying to be calm about it. lets told me that i should try calling the phone. so i did, and my calls went through but no one was answering my hellos, all i could hear was music. i started feeling sore...i still count on the goodness of people, you know. this went on for like 4 times. sent messages like, i'll give back a reward and shit like that. pati sa nbs,wala yung phone. argh. it hurt ah.

lets dropped me off na and i told her na we should just go to sm so i can get a new battery and housing for my old phone. i felt sad na that time. kasi yung crush ko was texting. ahahah! joke lang yun. that was around 5pm.

around 6:30,lets called me up on the landline. may nag text daw sa kanya:"hawak ko cp mo,puntahan mo dito sa brgy looc, cardona rizal". katakot,parang kidnappers!cardona is like 3 towns away from antipolo,and you have to travel the zigzag downhill, nakakatakot,ang dilim,parang horror movie! we called up a guy friend to drive for us(kawawa walang car) and asked another guy friend to accompany us. so nag road trip kami.

we met with this guy, ingkit(kasi isang mata lang nya ung singkit), in morong. he told us what happened. a relative nila, the hometown alcoholic/praning found the phone daw. he went home to his bayaw(father in law ba un?), and asked the old man how to turn the phone off. when ingkit asked him what that was, the guy turned around and went out, got into a tricycle. he followed him daw on his own trike. he notified na daw the brgy tanod to intercept. so it was the tanod who had the phone that time na. kaya pala we needed to go to cardona kasi we need to make a report pa in the brgy hall para maayos ang turn over. so ok,they led us to the place.

ang maganda jan, para kaming celebrities. ang daming fans when we got there. ang dami daw kasing chismoso at chismosa dun. yung iba, mga may kaso, siguro kasi mahilig sa mga away at rambulan ang mga tao dun.LOL. at ang tanod,si mang lets(he was like happy na magkatukayo sila ni lelets hahahaha) told the story again. version nya. super tanod! sya ang bida. ininterview pa ko, para malaman kung ako talaga un owner ng phone.
unang tanong, kanino ang unang number: si aaamikkeliaaa po.
TAMA!
sino ang huling number: si zoomie po.
TAMA! anong kulay: brown po na may brief na leather na brown din.
TAMA ULIT!
at ako ay nagwagi ng isang nokia 6300 sa halagang P1000 plus P100 kasi nagpaload pa si mang lets para makareply sa mga messages namin. palakpakan!!! maraming salamat po!

inside the brgy captain's office, the mediator started interviewing me again as mang lets started writing on the log book. pati serial number nilagay pa nya.
mang lets: ano ang buong pangalan mo?
me: abba gayle mendoza po.
ML:spelling?
me: a-b-b-a..
ML: a-b-b-a
me:g-a-y-l-e
ML: j-e-y-l-e
me:G at A po...
ML: j...e...
at ngayon ako na si abba jeyle mendoza.

got my phone and a new name. lelets in turn got good mornings from ingkit.
as for the brgy tanod, he tried borrowing money from us. haller. mga hamak na mga empleyado lang po kami at ang kinikita po namin ay sapat lang po sa pangangailangan namin at ng pamilya namin.

still, i do believe that people are basically good even if they can have vested interests. same banana.

more to come...

miss adventures

finally home and happy. well, i've been here since the 22nd and i haven't had the strength to blog. but yeah, i have a lotta time to waste today so i decided to drop by here.

was in china again for 11 days. 10th to the 21st. i was feeling happy about it when i left the philippines but got really homesick when i couldn't access facebook. gah! they blocked it! and i was alone. dimple didn't show up. wanted to go back on the 3rd day. was feeling like hell; never experienced boredom like that. it's just not for me not to be able to talk with anyone. no one can talk to lisa in the office and i didn't really have nothing much to talk about with jack. and john can't speak much english.

finally boss daddy came on my 4th day and we went to han zhou and ning bo on the 5th at least i was busy and had lisa with me in the hotel. we went to the hotel restaurant for dinner and they had these chilled fake food you can choose from. ning bo has a fishing port and they're supposed to be popular for their seafood. so the resto had tanks of fish and shrimps and crabs and lobsters. man, i ran away from the tank with frogs! i mean, i can eat frogs but only when they don't have skin on. and they're warm and cooked. haha. but i can't stand the sight of them. wahaha.

got back to dong guan on my the 6th day and met this guy. huge guy. played soccer for the shang hai team and is moving to the HK team, i don't know really. he's black, by the way. it was sweet. haha. but short. and no, i don't believe in "once you go black, you won't go back". and yeah, it was my china fling. LOL. it was like "isang linggong pag ibig" but you have to do it with more beats and rap it.

got a nasty cold on my 9th day. thought it was the swine flu. really really bad. no kissing daw. haha. i hated the weather there.couldn't bring myself to go to work on the 10th day so i stayed in the hotel. weh. basta. nag away pa kami ni soccer guy the next day kasi ang insensitive ko. ahaha. errrr, i know i am bitchy.

got cheesecake for everyone the day i was gonna leave. amazing, i saw tinay and kuya arnel at the guang zhou airport. ayus. and that's it, i think.

bow.
breakfast at ning bo. i love how they prepare eggs in china.
the government wants you to like KFC!
the pussy shell. isn't that right?

dalgo in ning bo