a better deal? you tell me.

okay. i spoke with nikki, the really cute boss. of course, he didn't want me to resign. he told me that kung alam nya lang daw na ganito kong nakakatawa, di nya daw talaga ko papayagan. told him na, ganon? talagang ganyan lang ang gusto nila sa kin,panandaliang aliw. chatted about UP, and joked around.

going back to business, he offered me two options yesterday. one is an agent position for commonwealth and the other, a part-time job working on something else, but i don't get to be an agent anymore. he said he'll give me time to think about it. i told him that i wanted to bum around, paint, sleep, be the family driver again, and do graphic designing work. ay ang astig daw ng mga pangarap ko sa buhay. he was more concerned with me getting a stable income. he said that the two he's offering is practically stress-free. nye.

well, while i was having coffee with two of my co-workers, i mentioned that i'll probably stay if they offer me a communications coach thing. ayun, nikki did find a position for me. for convergys ortigas. i'm actually giddy about the whole idea. giddy as in dizzy ha, not euphoric. well, thinking about it, the pay is much better and it's nearer that makati. will probably save me a lot of money. all i have to do is wait for the manager to look for my comms score then i'll be good to apply.

so i gave my dad a call and asked for his opinion. of course he said that's a good choice, applying for the coach position. he said you don't get that big a salary from anywhere easily. he told me that i don't really have anything else better to do with my life anyway.

but then i still dream of bumming.

i told my supervisor that if ever i don't get the position, i will resign. and that's it. what do you think?

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healthwatch: this is the same thing i had a few months back. and it is stress-related. at least i'm not feverish anymore.

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uptraining for the inbound thing starts on the 5th. shoot.

i'm dying!

joke lang.

spent thursday,friday, and saturday night with friends. but was already sick since friday evening.

but i just had to go to the office party last saturday night. played host but was really sick to my stomach, but it didn't stop me from getting my share of margaritas and tequila. the party had a 70's theme so i showed up in a brady bunch attire complete with mike's afro wig. was declared best in costume. stayed till 2am because the wig went missing. god, and my head was spinning and my stomach churning at that.

sunday night was also spent with friends. had pizza and corn and coke and a few movies. had fun while i was suffering from pain until mom started giving out sermons at 4am.

i feel sick and i hurt. until now. but of course, i showed up here in the office. the boss will talk to me later. let's see if his charms will work on me...

i feel like i have cancer already. gad.

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my 14 year old cousin was complaining earlier about having to go home after we played badminton. she told me that her parents say that she's becoming too much of a rebel. oh yeah, it's the same old lines we're talking about...

if you don't answer, the mom and the dad barks at you, but if you do answer, that means you're talking back. yada yada yada...

kinda reminds me of me when i was that age. oh, but then again, it still happens up till now. what do you do when you're 26 and still living in your parents' house? easy. move out. then, i begin to think, gad, i hate being pinoy just for that. i just have this feeling that if i do move out, it won't stop there. i most probably would be excommunicated by the whole extended family. argh.

i just can't believe that even the guys in my family never attempted to move out of their parents' houses until they all got married. it's sad that we've become so sheltered but at the same time, repressed. i'm scared that i'll end up just like everyone else. dependent on mom and dad and on help given by relatives. i don't actually have anything against that, i mean on the helping part. but when you stop helping yourself, that's the end of you.

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i feel so tired. karma for calling someone a 'f****ng a**hole'. kasi that's what's hurting ehhehhehehe. coffee+wine=bad idea.

i'm getting all scared. my mom and dada might be leaving for the states and might leave me here. i just can't seem to live with the idea that i'll get thrown to relatives' houses for the next couple of years. i have very conservative parents, but i have super conservative relatives, you see. goodbye social life.

i'm really enjoying this week. i was on leave last tuesday, and i've filed for another one for friday. i'll be visiting friends. and the boss just announced that we don't have work tomorrow since it's thanksgiving day. hay, sarap...

i still get goosebumps thinking about what happened last saturday night. i never imagined myself, at this age, making a scene in public. i told mike what happened. he said i was growing up already. hehe.

i did good.

i submitted my resignation letter last friday. i can't wait. but now, i begin to think, i'll be spending the holidays in antipolo. sheez. ang lamig ng pasko.

the pitted prune: a very aggressive fruit

do you take into consideration that other people actually do things for a reason? for example, do you not think about why people put up a front? well, maybe, they are scared of something. or maybe they do not intend to involve you too much into their own lives because they find you too shallow. maybe they know that they're assholes yet are actually considerate human beings. and these people would even try to protect you from themselves because they would rather use their energy in productive ways than insult you from head to toe, since you being the absurd abusive dense little rat you are, can't understand anything beyond superficiality.

or, how about the difference of friends from companions and acquaintances.

and have you ever heard of the "8-inch personal space"?

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everyone knows that i'm a clown. i'm sweet and mushy, generous and sometimes thoughtful, patient and open... but do you know the real me? do you actually have a clue?

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"i'll get you and i'll make it look like a bloody accident"
- cat, in "the cat in the hat", while talking to himself as the guy in the sweater who asks all the obvious questions

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filipinos have this thing. they can't say "no." well, i actually don't have hang-ups saying "no." so when i say no, i mean no.

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when people ask me, "are you taken?", i usually say, "yup, i am taken. i am taken for granted, thank you very much".

well. and when i begin to hear side comments such as "wala ka pala eh", i usually answer," wag lang on a bad day, kasi kahit ako di ko alam what i'm capable of doing".

i choose to stay quiet, and not think about it. i have better things to do than get mad or trash everyone.

until this week.

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flashback:
my anxiety attack was triggered by the fact that i had so many things going through my mind and that there were so many things i wanted to say but never did. and of course, the fact that i hold back anger. i do get sad and frustrated, but never angry.

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do you know how easy it is for me to be hurtful once provoked? well, too bad you chose this week. i'm having PMS.

and you thought i can never be serious.

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oh, and just as i predicted. karma did come and get you, sweetie. i swear, there are more in store for you.

slam! (or, meet bored,witty, and funny)

i was going to write about my sunday blues which had been going about for a few weeks already but that's so normal and i don't have to elaborate.

so today, i spent most of the time in the kitchen, making eggplant pizza and washing dishes. i really love my eggplant recipe and i'm sharing my recipe. here it is:

ingredients:
pizza crust or focaccia
eggplants, sliced thinly
pesto
more garlic,chopped (for that super sarap bite)
white onions
tomatoes,seeded(optional)
tomato paste
feta cheese (or kahit cheezee kung kulang sa budget)
olive oil


to make sandwiches: mix pesto, tomato paste and garlic. paint stove-top grill (or kahit non-stick pan na lang) with olive oil.grill eggplants,tomatoes and onions. after that, grill the focaccia so that it'll absorb the flavors on your grill. while still on the grill, smother it with the pesto mixture. put in the veggies and plus the feta cheese. the cheese won't melt much so you can take the sandwiches of the grill when the bread looks deliciously golden already.

to make pizza: smother pizza crust with pesto mix and top with the veggies. put feta on top or grate the cheezee since you can't afford feta. hehe. place in oven for 5 minutes and you're good to go.

you can put a little salt and pepper if it please you. i don't put salt on my food eh.

cooking is very therapeutic for me, especially when i get to smell the herbs and the spices. i feel happy.

i slept for a few hours and woke up around 7. i promised eten that we'd go play badminton before i go to work. she didn't give up even though i was too lazy to get up. she prevailed!

my nephews, kevin, zach, and vaughn, decided to tag along. i really love spending time with the three stooges. kevin and zach were doing their hill billy willy act and vaughn was giving out snappy sarcastic remarks on the way to the courts.

we played for an hour and a half. vaughn was too lazy and won't hit the shuttlecock back even if it's just a few inches away from his reach. maybe most of the time kasi he's bored eh. zach is good. he's really athletic and was witty enough to play with the pro (me,hehe). of course funny kevin had his own way of playing. or maybe he's got bad eyes. but one thing, i tell you, i won't pair up for a doubles with him. it's either i get hit with his racket or i get a flying kick from nowhere. kevin is way too hilarious.

well, i got all worked up and spent most of the time laughing my heart out with their crazy antics. we'll play again tomorrow. the boys decided that their tita abba needs the exercise and have commited themselves to help me lose weight. harhar.

drove to tagaytay last saturday. went to places we usually don't.had a nice time with the family.

unlucky

nakakainis. kahapon, nahuli ako ng big boss na natutulog. tamang kapipikit ko lang. paano, etong mga katabi ko, ang sarap ng mga tulog.

sa unang pagkakataon sana, ako ang watchdog: taga-gising ng mga kaaawa-awang nilalang.

mga mayroong tatlong beses ko silang ginulat, ginising, sinitsitan. yun nga lang, di ko talaga magising.

and if i can't beat them, i might as well join them.

ayun. may memo na naman ako. halos isang buwan na lamang ang ititigil ko dito sa kompanyang ito, magkakaka-memo pa ko.

my bestfriend commented on the issue that i fall in love easily, just because. she said that it's too childish, so juvenile for me to be like this. well, it's just too obvious that when you are miserable, you tend to be vulnerable.

well, i'm sure in this case, this is different.

i've never felt more sure.

and i'm still too miserable.

caramel apples

spent most of the weekend cooking. we made caramel apples on saturday night. these sweet treats give you a nostalgic feel.sinking your teeth into sticky moist caramel to be followed by the feel-good taste of juicy crisp apples gives you the feel of youth.

tj added a few pine nuts for effect. kasi daw halloween.

i'll be taking orders for christmas as early as november 15. you can email me at abbaghanda18@yahoo.com.
i'll be making cheesecakes, brownies, and rum cakes,too.

o di ba? nag-advertise pa ko. promise, they're perfect as gifts.