Monday, September 19, 2011

birthday wish!

i know what i want for my birthday! i want to pay the bills, give my niece her allowance, have money for travel tax, terminal fee, and shuttle fare. babaw lang di ba. haha. how painfully real.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

so tired

i wish i can have a little more time. then some more to just rest my brain. and the power to convince people to stop being so annoying.

i have been sleeping early and getting up early for a few days now. i like it but i feel guilty also for not being able to maximize a day. haha, not really, i know i have been productive. i'm just a little bit surprised with myself.

going to bed now. if sleep can only take away the problems so tomorrow will be a quiet day, then that would be so perfect.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

runny noses, frozen yogurt,and spectacular days

i was sitting in a cafe, waiting for an appointment, staring outside the window. sunlight was coming in from the glass roof and it didn't hurt my eyes so much. i believe i started staring at the sky more often whenever i'm alone in the city after my had the episodes of panic attacks. takes my mind away from the noise people make. it was a nice day outside. windy and not too warm. and i was thinking, hey, i keep praying for good days, but i keep forgetting that i've also been given a lot of spectacular days.

Monday, September 05, 2011

my complex

i hate septembers! it always feels like i'm dying whenever september hits.  i'm a confused man-child. if i were only a man...

so being me is so difficult to explain. when people hear me say stuff that i am shy or unhappy, they shudder in disbelief. LOL. not shudder, really, but they actually laugh and throw witty remarks at me. not so witty, rather lame, but yeah, no one believes me! is it my fault that i am a paradox? can it be not possible for me to be two things at a time? LOL, parang schizophrenic lang. 

and when people tell me that being unhappy is all in the mind, shempre! anong sasabihin ko, oo nga, it's all in the mind and my mind is f*cked up nga.  eh where else can sadness come from, right? i know it's in my head and that's why i try to stop it.

ohhhh, i am still in like with papito. hmm. i wonder why i keep crushing on men i can't get. ah, because when they're mine, i lose interest. but if the heavens and the oceans turned and the tooth fairy gave me papito, i promise to be a good girl. LOL. i think i am saying this because i know there ain't the tiniest chance that papito will come running after me. hay..just touching his palms give me the goosebumps. and now, another teenybopper photo:

and once again, his eyes are blurred to protect his blue-eyed identity, and my mouth blurred to wipe of that huge-ass smile on my face. hmm. i like him a lot not because he's young. haha! but if i had a checklist, he'd have a lot of those ticked boxes. well, it doesn't really matter. so let the old maid have her share of day-dreaming. and yeah, i think his brother noticed that i fancy him. and now i know i will once again regret posting this picture after an hour because he knows 2 of the blogs i am keeping. bwahahaha! but it doesn't really matter because i might never see him again. ever.

so. i will soon bury myself in work, so i will stay far away from blogger and facebook. i think i still have jet lag. oh. this is normal now. 8:20 and still no sleep for me. ok dear old drawing board, let's go consummate our love. LOL. damn i'm dizzy