micro-emo.

i'm still not feeling super. been back home from negros since sunday night. although, it's comfy here, i'm still kinda feeling under the weather.

so what's been happening to me?

marami, nakakahilo. haha! friends had been coming over to eat here. i somehow missed cooking kasi, and boy, do i have hungry friends. haha.

the UK and Dubai offices had been keeping me busy. like really busy. which is actually a good thing. at least i'm sure i'm still in their payroll.

just finished a diptych and am on my second one. this painting is a personal project actaully--which means it's for my dada! i've been promising him since last year that i will finish his painting but shempre, hindi ko magawa. busy making money eh. lol.

went to negros to mentor teenagers in a workshop. this was a project of an NGO(Protect CIAC) where my friend is coordinator. i've always wanted to volunteer, and i'm grateful i was invited. it was a really good experience plus the place where the workshop was held was beautiful. although i got sick on the last day (a very mysterious stomach flu), i went home with a happy heart.

also, i got me some extras and they are keeping me really busy. better busy than idle and daydreaming. it's easier to shrug off unwanted emotions this way. pero di ba. it's sarap sana if someone is fussing over me now. well, meron naman. haha joan brings me lunch pag may sakit ako. and lelets bring me meds and takes me to the doctors. nahihiya lang ako. salamat girls ha!

dami ko nagawa inspite of my being sickly. alam ko na! i'm getting body parts removed na lang para i won't get sick na. hahaha. un lang, hindi na ko magkakababy. pero i prayed naman na if God won't give me a baby, kahit Grandia na lang. hehe

hopelessly hoping

JC sent me a message thru facebook asking me to paint something for his room. so i asked if he has a specific theme in mind. he wants it to be about love again. this time, it's 'hopelessly hoping for a love that is yet to come'. perfect.

when i started with TheGoldFishPool, i just recently came from a break up. it wasn't bad and violent, but it felt like the world just went dark. i hung on to it until it just faded into nothingness. a vacuum once again. it was like being in a rollercoaster of emotions, though. one minute i'm happy, the next, i'm not anything. but still, making save-the-date cards and invites was ok; wasn't bitter or anything. just was on a plateau.

i found myself doodling one day, how 'our' wedding invite would look like. it was an image of a starry night, and floating in the sky would be sheep leaping over a fence, surrounded by heart balloons and happy clouds. it was about the countless sleepless nights spent on waiting, hoping for the day we would be together. but it's gone now.

earlier, i was chatting with JC (before he passed out). i told him that the paintings are with his sister already, ready to be flown to NYC. so i told him the story.

and now, i'm giving the images to him. told him to 'own the sleepless nights while waiting for his one true love to come'.

i'm done with love. well, i mean, done with waiting for it. i'm so cool, you'll freeze over.

yipee.

i got me a surge of ideas for the paintings i'm supposed to do. giving it 2 weeks. yehey!

also, i have my menu for next week already. wrote everything down so i won't backslide.

grocery shopping in a bit.

i'm happy today. was able to sleep right for 2 consecutive days already.

fit into the shorts dimple gave me. so proud of myself.

was insomniac the other day; now, it's narcolepsy!

sleep na ko...

burn out!

i need to clean up. i'm living in a pig sty .

this is supposed to be a dining table. it's like a cross between the kitchen counter and a dresser.

nice. insecticide and leftover chips.and the phone. it's not supposed to be there.

my unpacked suitcase(s). and i 've been home for a month already.

part of my workspace. art materials and props and trash.

my table. this is already clean compared to it's state last year. i am now actually able to use this table.

gah. fact is, i am too lazy. i know that already. i even sleep in the living room. i'm a mess. can't even sleep at night. i have only a few weeks here and i should be productive. thing is i sit here everyday, waiting for emails and working on photoshop.this is major burn out.