Tuesday, June 17, 2008

so here am i, trying to write my thoughts again. i haven't been doing a lot of thinking lately until recently. well, you see, i am obsessed. i have been obsessing about this for years. and now it has come, but i have a very bad feeling that i won't be able to get it.
the perfect spot for a cafe. eversince i made tambay there during my college years, i've always had this idea that i want that spot to be mine. unfortunately, i do not have money to pursue this. but then i don't think it's just the money...i think i don't have what it takes. i envy people who can just actually do it. haha, and the other day i was telling my bestfriend that i don't want to live in the US because i won't have anything to do there, that my skills are limited.
i guess i really am scared of leaping. my comfort zone had been well fluffed up and i am afraid to step out. and i always thought that i am a strong person. i am afraid to walk around manila because i might not be able to get back home. i am terrified of talking with people because i don't think i'm smart enough. and right now, i should be leaping...
but i'd rather crawl back into my hole instead. sucks to be me.

Monday, June 16, 2008


i've been a fan of the postsecret site for some time already. i find it tearing my insides whenever i read a secret that is also true to me. my sister, eten, sent one already, but i have no idea if it already came out. if it does, i hope i'll know that it's from her. she told me to send one already but i couldn't think of any that time. i kept telling people before that my life is an open book, so read me. hehe. i mean, i don't think that i have secrets that my friends don't know about.

a few days ago, my cousin and i started talking about secrets. her secrets, actually. secrets about people she hates and secrets about people who hate her. then there were also secrets that happen only behind closed doors. and so she asked me, what about my secrets? so as of now, everyone knows my preferences, my principles, and my motives. and she again asked me questions that everyone asks me.
salamat kay sydney bristow, i learned how to compartamentalize. and that's it pancit. i am not apathetic.
so what nga is my secret?
i sometimes cry when i watch eat bulaga.
go figure. i can't eh.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

ehem. graduate na ko. haha!