Tuesday, August 28, 2007


tough life. haha. still haven't changed my outlook a bit. still cloudy. but nevertheless, i got resources. oh, but i discovered one more source of stress. huge families and conflicts. oh well, can't get rid of them so i might as well just share the love! and stay out of trouble. so i'll just keep my mouth shut and stop complaining.
been out of tune and losing my rhythm. been up till 4 am. this is worse than the usual night shift, but i'm enjoying because i have a new alibi for staying up late.
now it's 4.17 am, the next day.
can't keep my focus still. juggling my rational thoughts with the stupid ones. spent the late afternoon recording sales for the past week and watching edward norton. i am gonna marry him. well, shempre joke lang yan. hay, i'm pretty much bloated because of huge mugs of mint mocha with whipped cream. ah, whipped cream. my worst enemy. i know i should just stop it but eversince i discovered the art of whipping, i can't help but make those lovely rosettes. and they all find their way into my tummy and my arms and my thighs and my cheeks. hahaha! okay okay, i will stop today.di na ko iinom ng cafe mocha. fattening. tubig na lang.
i miss eten sobra.
kept yapping and yapping, told tyrone stories about my life na hindi nya alam. and then i talked some more and complained some more and eventually ran out of sense and got tired of hearing my voice. oh...
i remember interviewing someone, this guy applying at the cafe:
me: tell me something about yourself
dumbo: yung honest?
ahhh, may trabaho ka! naman.
oh, blue lost his hiccups. the problem was with the intake manifold. when we bought blue, isa lang yun, eh nung isang araw, dalawa na sya, ayun. haha, buti na lang mum is here kaya napagawa agad. and now i have a list na of the repairs needed to be done. i think i'll spend something around 40k pa to get him looking and running like new. and if i can make gapang that, i won't sell him. now that's a diffrent story with big. si big kasi is a mazda b2000 na gasolina ang makina at toyota pa. san ka pa.
i am so full of nonsense. oh, and i'll be 28 in a couple of weeks. my wishlist:
wala pala.
not that i have everything i can ever wish for, but i just dont want anything anymore. and if there is one thing that i really really want, i probably won't get. so surprise me.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


last sunday, my grampa was rushed to the hospital. it was his 88th birthday. i wasn't present during lunch because i was stuck in the cafe so i didn't see what happened. anyway, that same day, they found out he had a major heart attack. he was put in the ICU in a nearby hospital and we visited him the same night. i thought i wouldn't but i did cry really hard in the ICU. a cousin told me to stop because crying wasn't allowed there. but i couldn't help myself.
you see,papang was the one who raised me when i was young. almost all the bits and pieces of my childhood memories all include papang. i would always joke that it was papang's fault that i got this big kasi a long time ago, i hated eating, but when i started second grade, papang would let me eat 2 siopaos and soda before we went to school everyday. hehe. hay...i remember learning how to eat maruya and binatog kasi he would buy them for me. and i remember asking him to read funny komiks for me after classes. i remember papang as someone really strong. there was this one time, i think i was about four or five, we were on this old red embc bus going to sta. mesa. we were already in shaw blvd. i think near addition hills kasi the bus took a different route, and the traffic was really bad and it was getting late. we got off the bus and started walking. it was still a long way from our house in manila. papang carried me on his shoulders almost all the way home.
but sunday night was really weird. papang hated going to the hospital. but there he was, looking weak and helpless. and i took his hand and just started crying. i kept telling him that i love him. i can't tell him to get well soon or na magpalakas sya or anything. i didn't say anything comforting, i just kept holding his hand. his grip was still strong, i know he'll fight. i really don't know what will happen nor wish for anything good. i just want him going through all these without experiencing pain. well, papang kasi never complains about anything.
papang knows na mahal ko sya. i have always been able to show papang how much i love him and how much he means to me. i thank God na marami akong chances for that.
mum and eten are coming home. although its under an ugly circustance kaya sila uuwi, i'm happy na makita sila soon.
dami ko dilemmas but i'll be fine. i hope.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

now open


please come in, we're open.