Monday, February 13, 2006

i was a tramp last week. i just stayed home mostly and watched dvds. all because of something going on inside me. yup. i'm sick. but we don't know exactly what i have yet.

i had my lungs checked and everything's clear. i was given anti-allergy pills. my uneventful ultrasound also found nothing wrong. yet. but i'm having hormonal imbalance for sure. had a big needle in my arm(god, i'm still scared of it) , but everything's almost ok. i need to diet only.

it's so funny that i am all okay, inspite of me being overweight. of course i'm thankful that there's nothing seriously wrong with me. i just get episodes of dizziness, making me susceptible to vertigo, and my tummy aches. the tummy ache is a manifestation of stress. if people go shedding skin when stressed, i go gassy. as for the dizziness, we don't know yet. but last week my bp was low and it returned to normal after some good nights' sleep.

my cutie boss nikki is allowing me to resign (finally) but wants me to make a really good letter so that i can apply after six months in case i need a job daw.

hay. ugly thing. i have to get sick before they let me go.

oh, and as for the promotion, nikki told me that the interviewer thought i wasn't taking the interview seriously because i was laughing the whole time. but ron was really funny, i can't help myself. nikki told him that it's just my nature and told me that it seems that i was overly confident. josko, i was dying nga during the interview. anyway, at least that's the reason. and it brightened my dizzy day.

i have been writing on paper more these days. and they look more sensible. hay.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

on some good days, i never bother to think about you. i smile and pretend it's all cool. then i get those days when i look in the mirror and i see an old person, all tired and unattractive. those are the days when i should just think about fixing myself up, work on my image, be beautiful again. and just like a sticky brown substance, this uneasiness crawls down my spine, all because my thoughts lead to you.
then i curse the fact that bad genes exist. i curse the fact that the skin starts to age at 25. i curse the fact that eventhough we don't belong together, we got to the point that we shared a smoggy sky with animated stars and purple clouds. i curse the fact that your "hello" on the other end of the line makes my heart skips a beat when your voice slurs that i can actually see and hear your smile.
my skin starts to crawl from the disgusting feeling i get whenever i remind myself of us. because you are the total opposite of me. you can never fit in my real world, and eventhough i try to, i can never fit yours. weird that i call it disgusting. and whatever it is, it is so pure.
me and my telenovelas, as raens would say it...

and i just want to stop it. living life with all this drama is not healthy.
i am convinced that the promotion will never come. and the funny thing is, i was too ready for the bad news. but i know no one's breaking it to me.
i still know this year will be a good one and i'm determined to make it happen.
this february, i will get car repairs, my lomo cam, and a trip to sagada.

last year i predicted that we will have a mass resignation this february. i guessed right. i'm a psychic!

konti na lang, i'll be getting everything sa list ko.

and i'm going back to my old deeds.

ayayayay! i'm all grown up.

happy i'm still in one piece after almost two years in the night shift. i'll see you, sun, again, soon.

i had to guts to tell raena my secret. and it feels good. baduy ito like maskriderblack baduy. like juday and wowie baduy. haha. weh ano ngayon!

i hate clearpay and i am leaving you soon.