Monday, June 28, 2010


i woke up with the words echoing in my ear. it shouldn't really bother me anymore. i mean, it's been months already since i read those hurtful words on my screen. reminders are scarce now, though. it's just me, i know.

how long could one possibly wait? i don't mean wait for a person to come back and stuff like that. just, well, wait. for answers, perhaps? maybe wait for pieces to fall in their right places. or wait for rewards. wait for the thing that makes one content.

it is just so wrong that he still gets to me. and he's not even around. and i already gave up on this. it's ok sana if i'm alone whenever the thought of him would haunt me. but the problem is, even if i'm with people, he's in my head eh.

no, i'm not out of his life, kasi he's definitely still in mine. that's what he wanted eh. thing is, there's a huge flaw.

he can't commit.


Saturday, June 26, 2010

detox day 2

even as i am on detox, i have images in my head of me, cooking lovely food.

but i'm not really interested in eating haha

arghh! insects!

there are just so many tiny little things, crawling, flying, and buzzing here! here!!!! i swear, i will clean up!

detox day 1 is over. the girls came over, and brought food with them. chips, actually, and i made salsa for them. it was funny because jo brought the ingredients and she was saying something like fresh blah blah and i wasn't hearing it. i chopped everything and dumped them in a saucepan. put some tomato paste and cooked it. ah. kaya pala there was half a mango, it was supposed to be FRESH salsa, weh! slow ako, i know. but i didn't eat. i tasted the shit though, but spat it out. which was really weird because it melted in my mouth. it could have easily slid down my throat. hahaha! was having a little bit of a headache kanina kasi i wasn't expelling much. but i'm ok and all set for day 2.

i really really need to get new glasses. i checked out some optical shops, and they all have expensive frames! man. the type of frame i want will cost me around Php6K++ and my lenses will also be around that much. imagine, spending Php12K on glasses? gah. i couldn't find generic frames that would look good on me, i mean everything i see, even the branded ones ha, look flimsy. the one that broke just cost me PHP200(from i2i) and lasted for 6 years. deym. i asked my chinese friend how much she got her glasses for. she said something like RMB200. that's like Php1340. that is soooo unfair. i'm not brand conscious, i just want to be able to see. ano ba at kelangan lahat ng frames, mahal? peste. i might end up getting a new pair in china. i just hope the eye doctor could understand me. haha. i wonder how their eye chart looks. kasi baka pag chinese characters, hindi ko talaga mababasa.

imma sleep!

Friday, June 25, 2010


sitting here all day makes abba a dull girl.

well, i know, i should be out there, painting the town red. unfortunately for them who had called my attention for some cavorting, moi decided to stay here at home. to work. all day. every day. of course, i do take breaks: i play burger shop(got bored with plants vs zombies)!

so now i am experiencing a burn out. i am UNCREATIVE. i know, it was against my principles to work as an 'artist' in some company, but a girl's gotta eat, right?

so, what do we do? well. it's about time that i get messy. paint? check. brushes? check. glue? check. paper? check. scissors? check. only my canvas is missing. gonna be a loooooong way to the town(errr about 15 minutes), but what the heck, imma brave the weather and the laziness, get on a trike, and go to the market.

gotta fight off this bad bad thing!

oh, and btw, i'm on detox. doing the master cleanse again. hopefully, i can do this for an entire 2 weeks. and i'm staying clean after this. i'm gonna keep track of this health stuff. haha! so it's gonna be 2 weeks and 2 days without meat and my ferrous sulfate. if i go hypotensive, will someone catch me if i fall? hahaha! i remember my cheat during the last time i did the master cleanse. i had a banana. haha. was getting leg cramps so i guessed i needed potassium. the moment i bit on the banana, my mouth panicked. it went like, wtf! what do i do?! hahaha. for a moment there, i really forgot how to chew and swallow. hahahah!

i didn't follow the 2 day prep though, i wanted to finish everything in the fridge before i do this. well, it was just carrots and pineapple juice,and some apple juice, and a salad last night. not feeling bad about it though.

and now, i pray.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

i love color (or i like it big, bright, and beautiful)

before my last trip, my borrowed suitcase(tyrone's) finally gave up. well, it was just a strap that broke, but it looked really sad. i didn't want to get a new one, but russ said i should get a replacement already. we were at a mall, and i didn't have enough cash, so russ said we should just charge it. and of course, knowing me, i wont get a boring one so i ended up with this:

the heart name tag came much later.

also, i got this bag from a store in hwa ren(however that's spelled). it's a tokyo store and all their merchandise are from heaven. this one cost me 161RMB (Php1083 or $24). not bad na rin. funny because the zipper's got these metal tags that make a lot of noise. when i was at the jinhan fair, i walked alone and there were not too many people, but i kept looking back kasi ang ingay nun thingies, kala ko lagi may tao behind me. the chinese girls told me it's too bright and not nice. bakit ba, walang basagan ng trip! lol

imma start detox in 2 days so i got me lemons! lovely lovely lemons! will be at it for 2 weeks. wish me luck.

Monday, June 21, 2010


i volunteered to cook for sunday dinner tonight. started at 12am to prepare my fruit and bacon stuffed chicken. i decided to document the process, and it took me longer to prepare because i have to wash my hands everytime i took a photo.

chicken, prunes, tomato paste, soy sauce...

brown sugar, pepper, oil, dill, basil... cornflakes and tostillas(di kasama un)

why are they called 'dressed chicken' when they're actually naked?

swimming muna. they're doing the breast stroke.

this is much later na, about 14 hours from the last photo. hey, i sleep, too!

the stuff i used to violate my poor birds.

i love molesting these chicks! haha! that's not a pretty sight, though. but those are prunes and apple slices wrapped in bacon and forcefully rammed into the crevices where the sun don't shine. ( i don't think i can be a cooking show host, noh?)

if these birdies were alive, they'd probably be dead now.
feeling guilty about their misfortune, i gave them a body scrub and massage with oil, salt, and pepper. after that, they needed to go to the sauna, so inthe oven they go.

after an hour and 15 minutes, these lovelies emerged.

i forgot to bring the camera for dinner. but there wasn't time enough to take photos. they disappeared mysteriously. lol.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

yey Blue!

my old car is now once again alive. it's been stuck in the garage for a very very long time. i think i haven't driven it in year. well, i just got it to work again since samio already bought it. samio. destiny ata talaga ni Blue si sam.

i remember sam coming up to me in sir bob's class; we were juniors then. he asked if he and camille could borrow my car. and i gave him the keys. even joked that of course he knows i could never say no to him. he told me that camille would drive, but of course i knew he would drive. fyi, i also knew that time that he didn't know how to drive. sa faculty center lang daw sila.

when they got back, sam said, 'abbaaaa...'. and i was like,'yeah i know'. haha! kasi at the FC parking lot, he backed onto someone's car. car ng prof. at may epal pang manong guard. haha! i don't remember the details but yeah, may dent ata parehong cars.

hmm. in my entire driving career(pro ako haha) once pa lang ako nabangga na kasalanan ko. i posted something here about that. but you'll be surprised how bugbog my cars were nung prime nila.ahhaha

first car ko, si B1. he's a boxtype lancer. all yellow, no tint, with ugly peeling seat covers. it's the type na wag mo ipapasok sa motel, or else makikita ka ng lahat ng kakilala mo. he's that bright. only got into an accident with him once. was coming from a small street, palabas ng highway. of course i was looking at where the cars were supposed to be coming from. then, bam! i hit this Kia pride. counterflowing. inaway ako, di daw ako nakatingin. so pinagdadakdakan ko na tanga sya ,and he's like violating a traffic rule. pinatawag nila un kaibigan nilang pulis. ayun, pinagdadakdakan ko un pulis. all he said was, 'tama naman si ma'am..' i was with mikko and japs nun, we were freshmen. sabi ni mikko,'ang tapang mo naman..'

eh ano pa. hahaha!

Big, the big pick-up truck didn't get into any trouble. he was the sweetest. he's gone now.

and Blue. Blue came to my life the same time B1 did. 1997. dada gave me B1 as a gift when i turned 18. and he got himself Blue kasi the red 2 door corolla was like, old na. hehe.after my first year sa fine arts, dad decided to get Big kasi B1 gave me alot of engine trouble, plus bigat ng mga sinasakay ko kay B1 going to school. but Big, according to dada, was too big for me. and mejo matigas ang steering. i was kinda payat non. haha! so we traded cars.

and that was the beginning of my long-term relationship with Blue. official school service ni abba, joey,monsee, tinay, elaine,tj,ria, hasmyn, etc etc, at umabot pa kay ten. he was battered inside and out. the most na sumakay sa kanya was like 7. umakyat pa sa antipolo un ha. and this is his list of accidents(not in chronological order):

1. my x was driving. we were going slow on the way to taytay, red jeepney hits us from behind. you can imagine how much verbal abuse my x got from me. and the operator and the driver never paid for the damages.

2. tinay's dad backed up into Blue while he was parked on the street outside their house. in broad daylight.

3. my x driving again. kakaayos lang nun bumper, 1 week pa lang. we were crossing the road, half nun car nasa kabilang side na ng street, stupid drunk guy in a motorcycle hits the back. tanggal buong bumper. kasalanan daw namin. duh. didn't pay din kasi daw sabi ni manong pulis, pag walang umamin, walang may kasalanan. eh inamin ko naman na kasalanan nun mamang lasing. at obvious ba, sya ang bumangga!

4. traffic jam, my cousin driving. car from an establishment backs up and hit the side mirror on the passanger side.

5. uncle driving. stopped at an intersection, red light. closed van hits him from behind.

6. sam backing up on the prof's car

7. prof from the science dept. backed up sa car ko, parked behind palma hall. in broad daylight. leaves a note. but i didn't bother to look for her.

8. our driver driving, around 1am. dad made him stay sa UP kasi we joined un roadpainting thing. i think he was sleepy, paakyat on a curve, un car pababa kinda brushed sa amin

9. effin patok na jeep brushed din kay Blue kasi the driver forced his way sa traffic ang nagiisang kasalanan ko, hitting a langka tree kasi i was crying. broke my front signal light sa passenger's side.


ang dami di ba. but Blue's fine. bago pa shocks nya! hahaha! may malas kasi yan. bakit kaya? wag nyo na sagutin. haha!

Friday, June 18, 2010

la dee da dee da di dum dum di day ecstasy ecstano. whatevah.

wasn't sure about what i was gonna write about, so i'll write random stuff.

i'm thinking of seriously getting a tattoo cover up using this design:

although i'm not sure how it'll fit in a strip along the spine, but i really really want this. no one's gonna see me naked or at least wearing backless dresses, but i MUST have this. haha.


checking sent mail. ooops. i write stupid 'love' letters.


gah! the kevins in the UK office sent me indesign files. errrr. already told them that i'm not familiar with that and learning will take a while. so one kevin said he knew it would happen. then i asked them if i can just send sample pdfs for the designs.the other kevin said ok, but to tell the boss about my plan. then the firrst kevin suddenly says i should try it because it's easy. naman eh. ayoko nga eh.

mga kevins talaga. lol


i'm almost done with the pending work from the office. and i'm happy to have a new project for my favorite patron,JC(my favorite boy). lol. may theme ulit. lol. the first painting i gave him was a gift. the painting 'mikkey frog':

and the next one is 'my heart belongs to my oyster':

that's JC on the couch.

and yeah, we always have had themes. 'mikkey frog' is dreamy and happy and child-like. i painted it while i was head over heels in love with who else, mikkey frog. haha. (if i kissed mikkey frog, i wonder if he'd turn out to be my prince) ah, fireflies, stars, and sleepless nights.

'my heart belongs to my oyster' is also about love. JC wanted something that says love for life. and i was given ehm.. 2 weeks to do that? haha!

now jc tells me, hey make me another one that says, get ready for it, 'hopelessly hoping for a love that is coming'! lol. and i have till the 3rd week of july to finish that because his sister leaves for NY last week of the month. i have like a few ideas in my head, following the trend nung ginawa namin ni sam for bim and gen.

and now, for the most difficult part: will someone go to the market with me? i need to buy canvas! i'm scared! lol


gotta go check my email. it's difficult when you have offices in 3 different time zones.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

feels like the right path

i gave up already. i just asked to be brought to the place where i should be. i think i'm on my way there. and i think there's still so much room for blessings. even though the missing parts are still missing and may not come, i feel that enough substance will be provided to fill in the gaps.

it's sad that's it only now that i clearly see how things fall exactly, swak ha, into the right place, everytime it happens, but i never cared enough to notice. sayang. i should've said more thank you's.