Friday, July 31, 2009

ok na!!!

ang lakas ng ulan. i'm freezing here!

i thank the universe for giving me this defective sun broadband thingy, which i can use everyday, every hour, except that the connection flactuates every now and then. so that means, my dear bestfriend, joy, that cyber sex isn't at all possible when my webcam won't work. you can't accuse me of that even if i keep myself locked up in the house all day and night. i love that i can use the usb thingy even when i am inside moving cars, except that my laptop has sucky batteries and can last only up to 2 and a half minutes when not connected to an electricity source. i also love it when attaching files to email stir up my emotions because after waiting for 3 hours ,and crying my eyes off the sockets, the files still won't attach because the yahoo and gmail keep timing out.

ahh, technology.

my nokia 1100 died on me a few weeks ago. the battery looks swollen and the adhesive tapes and rubber band feature won't hold it together anymore. i had another mobile phone i kept in case the 1100 died, but ten used it when she was here and took it back with her to hawaii. i asked her to send the phone back instead of getting a new one, but she insisted that it's sucky so she sent me money instead. gah. my baby sister plays the role i should be playing. again. so, i got myself a nokia 6300, which cost me a sweet P6,500. and after paying for it, i realized that i would have been better off with a new battery(P500) an a new housing(around 200 i think) instead. too late.

still trying to figure out how to hold it comfortably and how to actually work the phone. i think it's too slippery and too much color makes my head hurt. but i don't wana sound ungrateful. thank you ten and the universe for giving me a phone that has a real camera. i can now take photos of photos of random guys that look peculiarly familiar posted on mall walls.

this entry was interupted by a phone call. leslee called to say that their house is flooded already. it had only been an hour since it started raining. at least she is prepared this time. the last time she almost went crazy and kept crying. two more days before they move out of the house and they get this going-away gift. so lets and i went to pick her up and her brother-in-law. poor girl. kagaganda,lumulusong sa baha at sa lahat ng mikrobyo na dulot nito.

worse is that i have a tummy ache. naeLBMbo ako.scary! i don't know why, maybe it's because that i had a KFC snack box, a baby cake from sugarhouse, and dinner at teriyaki boy in a span of four hours. wah! i hope it's just that because i don't wana die of the uni sashimi i ate. so now i know that i'm ready for detox.

i have to go to the travel agency later. gah! i dread the travel agent. she's like the black hole of cheer and a brick wall rolled into one motherf*ckin being. seriously. can you believe this, the day i was to fly to china, she made me go to QC to pick up my passport and other documents. instead of meeting me somewhere halfway and making my life easier, she had to be the source of a lot of panic. and the airport is like 2 hours away from their office! and her voice, argh, she sound like she has testosterone overdose. but of course, i don't wana be mean to her. she goes to the embassy for my visa and i don't have to see makati(i swear, i hate the place).


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

shorter days

been going out a lot. not to bars and parties and stuff like that, though. been hanging a lot with friends, stayed over in tagaytay and mandaluyong, just to cook, eat, watch tv, and talk a lot. went to meet clients, see joy and papa, and just walked aimlessly around a small portion of the city. i guess this makes days feel shorter and time faster.

so far, i finished one project for the goldfish pool. i also got small time lang naman to., but it's all good na din. i'm doing two more projects and i can't wait to get them done. i'm hoping that we can print before august 8. i'm getting anxious about it. however, at the same time, i feel excited and happy. i hope more projects will come on november. that's when my schedule will be clear.

the process of forgetting and healing is here, with occasional painful reminders of what i am trying to forget and what the healing is needed for. well, it's supposed to work that way, i guess. it's long overdue, but at least i know i'll be fine. well, no, i don't think i'll ever be fine. only consolation is that i know i'll be more of an ass than what i was before. and that definitely makes a difference. lol.

i'm going back to china for 2 weeks this august. i'm rather excited about the traveling. more excited than the first time. the thing came right on time, since everyone else is going somewhere. i also could use the change of scene. and i want to get some cheesecake for everyone. lol. next trip will be on october, for the canton fair. that sounds exciting. i like going to fairs. beats doing nothing. haha. but what i'm really looking forward to is my wacom. i'm supposed to get one when i get there.

back to work for me.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

i'm on an oatmeal only diet. haha. that's the only thing i have here in the house. so sad. but i think it'll be fine. i've been staying indoors a lot, and would just usually go out after midnight to hang out with the other night walkers.

so far, nothing big has happened. i'm on a retainer and will be working for cimc here from my house. just really excited that i'll be getting a wacom tablet soon. now if i can only afford a new laptop...haha, nevr mind about a new one, should just get this one checked and fixed. so all is going well, i think, with this job. i have to go to china again next month. i swear i will not overpack and i will not forget to bring a shoulder bag.haha.

i need to get a new mobile phone, seriously. my phone drops calls since the battery is like warped or something. haha. and the rubber band feature can't hold it together. the tapes also don't work anymore. haha. i feel sad. i love this phone. too many moments together. haha.

oh and i am seriously crushing on this guy. haven't met him yet, but he might come over in september. and baka he'll stay here. hala, ayan, eto na, normal na ulit ako. kasi i actually think someone is better-looking than the pajama man. eh haller! kamukha nya si brad pitt, pano ba naman ako di mag ka crush dun. ayan ha, dalawang pictures pa lang nakikita ko tapos mga kwento, hmft. puntahan ko na lang kaya sa san fo yun. haha. ang landi ko. ehehe. yeach, syempre hindi naman totoo yan. nagiinarte lang ako. kaya pag dating nya, kelangan lagi akong naka pants, kasi baka pag nagskirt ako, malaglag ang panty ko! haha. whatever. still hung up...damn...

still trying to figure out how to solve the financial crisis i'm in. grabe. slaving myself pero tig-hirap pa rin ako. kung pwede lang talaga magbenta ng laman, at ng taba syempre.

yoshee's preggy na. and yes, i heard that blythee is 8 months on the way din. am so happy. pero, oo, nadedepress ako!wah! pwede na bang mag curl up and die? was hoping that i'll be pregnant bu now din, unfortunately, wala pala sa plans yun. alin? yung to take me seriously? ahaha. korek. ang hirap noh, un masaya ka for the people you love, pero, malungkot ka for yourself. si joy kasi, nag FLAMES pa, at sweetheart daw yun sa guy, sa akin enemy, tapos friends lang daw kami, samantalang sila ni kcue, married! MARRIED!!!!ang daya... hikbi...hikbi...

ayoko na nga. sabi ko na nga ba, hindi talaga dapat ma-in love ever. at dapat din hindi dinidefine na "love" ang very strong emotions na "like" lang ang tinutumbok. hmft. hindi na ko maniniwala sa love love na yan. ang labo di ba, wedding invitations ang business ko pero sablay ako. sabi nga ni tyrone, gumawa ka ng "hate" card for every design you do, same motiff. haha. riot. meron din akong wedding invite design for me-and the pajama man. haha.pathetic. dapat sunugin na. ang cute cute pa naman nya, wah!!!

seriously, ang tagal naman ako maka get over, para kong tinapang balisa(super old maid di ba?). nakakainis kasi naman, namaster ko naman ang coping dati, bakit ngayon, ang tagal ng proseso ko. i hate it when it takes this long. kalahating taon na ha, hindi na cute. lampas kalahating taon na, sana sampalin na ko ng realidad! punyets!

pero sa totoo lang, hindi naman talaga makakalampas sa process kung di ko rin naman pabayaan ang sarili ko na magprogreso. bakit nga naman kasi kelangan pa mag karoon bigla ng ideals. yun lang. pag natatak na sa utak mo yung mga bagay na gusto mo, ang hirap makaabante.

sana yumaman na lang ako para makalimutan ko ang mga issues ko na walang kwenta. oo, juvenile na ko. hmft. at oo, totoo na umiyak ako kanina kahit nag papatawa pa rin ako. seryosong malungkot naman talaga. at pagyumaman na ko, magyoyoga na lang ako araw araw. bow.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

sore but not losing

gah! so many things to feel bad about. and this site isn't called "whiney me" for nothing. so i made my "sore about shit" list.

1. sore that i bought my laptop centuries ago to make money, but never got to do that. until now. and it's a dinosaur and i named it "slow"

2. since Slow is a stupid inanimate object, i'm having a hard time using him for my design jobs and my tutorials

3. so sore that i ate a lot in cebu

4. shitty about the fact that i can't get over the pajama man. stupid me. he's probably gotten past the abba stage a long time ago so should quit it, right? too much hang ups, too many cute guys i ran away from.

5. yeah, and i regret that i blew my chances with the guys at will

6. so sore that i don't know if i should get a new laptop or a new internet provider

7. really sore that i don't have money for a new laptop nor a new internet provider

8. too tired from juggling 3 jobs, and frustrated that i'm getting so little done

9. sorry that i counted my chicks before they even hatched

10. shitty again when i think of the fact that i can relocate, you know, if he only asked. but yeah, he didn't

11. pissy about my pimples. at 29.

12. pissy for still being unable to see transformers ii

13. scared that my front tooth will die and fall off

14. sore that i'm running out of creative juices fast because of too much thinking.

15. loathes the person who invented krispy kreme

16. hopeless about going to germany this year

17. sore about broken toys and no shelves

18. hates the fact that money doesn't grow on trees

19. pissy about my being unorganized and sleepless

20. frustrated that i miss the pajama man like hell. in agony for deciding not to hope anymore.

yeah, got a lot of things to complain about, but i also can't help being happy because most of my dilemmas are from happy reasons. just wanted to rant. haha.

i'm in tagaytay and i left hidalgo at home and i can't sleep.

this is hidalgo and me in dong tian li yuan in dong guan

dalgo at the empark grand hotel in fu zhou.

dalgo at the city hotel in xia men

too bad didn't have a cam in tai zhou and in wen zhou. haha. lucky teddy bear/human baby.