i finally decided that i am UNFEELING. after years and years of trying to solve the mystery, i finally accepted it- yes, i am frigid. in every way. i googled my case, to see if i really have mild autism or psychopathic issues. and according to my research, i'm not the only one suffering from this. apparently, a lot of women do. it's not really a relief, it's more like a 'hawak hawak tayo ng kamay sabay buntong hininga' thing.
the people i opened this up with(i have a lot of tight friends), they suggested i should go see a doctor. so what kind of doctor can solve this dilemma? haha. see, it's not just mental anymore. it's manifesting physically. i even now have problems with touch, unless you're 10 years younger than me, or 20 years older, or female. haha. well,it's more complicated actually, and i prefer to keep most parts to myself and the real life. and just thinking about creating any sort of intimate relationship give me the creeps.
i blame the pajama man. he took all my feelings with him when he disappeared. haha! well, being like this has its advantages.my judgment is uncompromised and my reasoning more logical. hmm. maybe it's the world paving my path to blessed singleness. or, maybe, it's telling me to keep put. and just wait for my perfect match. maybe in august, just in time for my birthday haha! and august would mean papito. LOL
this is my highschool scrapbook version of a picture of papito and me taken somewhere in europe. i was kilig kasi he leaned back towards me for this picture. i pixelated his eyes to protect his identity, and i pixelated my mouth so you won't see how big my smile is. haha! pardon my hair, we just came from hard labor in this pic.
hay papito. he's everything that makes me go upside down. ah, and when he works with his hands, i die! chee! haha, and of course, as usual, i will regret posting this after an hour because there's an 80% chance that he'd see this. oh, and by the way, he's so much younger than me. i'm a cougar and he can be my cougee. hehehe
well, my insides may not have frozen over completely. maybe, something will melt all the ice and turn me into goo. and i might be giving hugs again in the near future.
i have curly hair today. i'm growing my hair now and i think i'm doing a good job.