Sunday, April 24, 2011

i am the Snow Queen with curly hair

i finally decided that i am UNFEELING. after years and years of trying to solve the mystery, i finally accepted it- yes, i am frigid. in every way. i googled my case, to see if i really have mild autism or psychopathic issues. and according to my research, i'm not the only one suffering from this. apparently, a lot of women do. it's not really a relief, it's more like a 'hawak hawak tayo ng kamay sabay buntong hininga' thing.

the people i opened this up with(i have a lot of tight friends), they suggested i should go see a doctor. so what kind of doctor can solve this dilemma? haha. see, it's not just mental anymore. it's manifesting physically. i even now have problems with touch, unless you're 10 years younger than me, or 20 years older, or female. haha. well,it's more complicated actually, and i prefer to keep most parts to myself and the real life. and just thinking about creating any sort of intimate relationship give me the creeps.

i blame the pajama man. he took all my feelings with him when he disappeared. haha! well, being like this has its judgment is uncompromised and my reasoning more logical. hmm. maybe it's the world paving my path to blessed singleness. or, maybe, it's telling me to keep put. and just wait for my perfect match. maybe in august, just in time for my birthday haha! and august would mean papito. LOL

this is my highschool scrapbook version of a picture of papito and me taken somewhere in europe. i was kilig kasi he leaned back towards me for this picture. i pixelated his eyes to protect his identity, and i pixelated my mouth so you won't see how big my smile is. haha! pardon my hair, we just came from hard labor in this pic.

hay papito. he's everything that makes me go upside down. ah, and when he works with his hands, i die! chee! haha, and of course, as usual, i will regret posting this after an hour because there's an 80% chance that he'd see this. oh, and by the way, he's so much younger than me. i'm a cougar and he can be my cougee. hehehe

well, my insides may not have frozen over completely. maybe, something will melt all the ice and turn me into goo. and i might be giving hugs again in the near future.

i have curly hair today. i'm growing my hair now and i think i'm doing a good job.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

ok, i think i've been just too busy with work. i've also been depressed,happy,confused,broken, lonely, and whatever my mood swings swing to. well, life had been outrageously busy and my mind keeps changing and wanting more. it's confusing me most of the time, as i am supposed to be past my quarter-life crisis, and now, i'm feeling that i am on my way to the half-life one. and i'm not even 40.

i guess all that pagod is getting to me. i know i've been called 'lazy', but can you not see how a workaholic me is? i multi-task and give up sleep to slave in front of my dear Petunia, and wash the dishes while at that ,too. i want to rant about that now, hey, i wake up late because I WORK ALL NIGHT. except now, since i have to go to the office.

ah china. you really get me going. going the red bull way. ha! i've consumed an enormous amount of redbull since i got here, and no, i don't particularly like ingesting sugar in liquid form. i always preferred cake. but, poor me ain't getting any cake around here. yep. i am POOR. squandered all my money and money i have yet to make. because i like flying so much...

but, seriously, i have no idea what will happen next. i was so confident of my first quarter plans, now i'm stuck with the second quarter and i ain't ready! i'm not so spontaneous after all...

what now?

march ended fast and april surprised me. and i can't really do anything about april right now since i am prisoner to the four walls of my hotel room until the first week of may.

but eh, i was able to accomplish a lot during the first quarter:

1. gave my students huge killer art projects and they succeeded. i wasn't even there to supervise. i just gave them the encouragement. LOL

2. woke up early to go to makati. yup. too early. and thanks to the germans, the embassy was so accessible, even to me, an idiot when it comes to public transportation.

3. the ambiente. yey! i went to germany and fell in love. pero he doesn't know haha. cougar kasi ako.

4. finished 2 wedding invites for the goldfish pool

and with that, the trips to china, thailand,and sweden. now, am back in cina. and thinking of what to do with the 2nd quarter.

so far, here's what i have in mind:


well, i really have nothing in my mind. i can't make any decisions without checking the boss' calendar pala. so i guess i'll just grow my hair. and yeah, try to lose weight for the august and september events. in the meantime, i'll resume to my confusion.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

tee hee hee! i got me chills all over! and it's not even the snow!

obviously, i don't edit my photos.

sunny day for a cultural trip.

both being turistas.


hello, alex.

field trip feet.

the artwork in the museum weren't the famous ones, but i was really happy. i think i was never that happy. i can die now.

Friday, April 08, 2011

i heart february part 3

february also meant time spent with my bestest friends.
with dimps ambiente,frankfurt messe

with karenina at gamla stan

haha. february was lovely. after frankfurt, i flew to stockholm to see karenina and daniel. it was
amazing. and i finally got to see snow. thanks, boss. thank you sa baon.

i remember when i was younger, my dada would often tell me about his friends' kids who were sent abroad for some seminar or school thing. i know dada always wanted me to be an 'achiever', but i was to dang lazy to get honors or stuff like that. haha. i wonder if dada's proud of me now...