nakahanap ako ng kakaibang trip. nung nasira yung stereo ko sa auto, sobrang na-bad trip ako kasi ultimo cd changer ayaw gumana. yung tape deck ayus pa tapos unti-unting nasira din. nasisira nya yung mga casette tapes. buti na lang gumagana sa jack para makabit ko yung ipod. hassle kasi kung sumasabit yung ear phones kung saan saan kapag nagmamaneho ako. hindi kasi gumagana yung fm radio, di makakuha ng signal. pwede lang sa kanya, am radio.

kapag gamit ng dada ko yung auto, naka set na yung station sa dww 774. yup. siete siete kwatro. nakakainis nung una talaga. tapos, nadiskubre ko yung programang tamang-tama sa oras ng biyahe ko sa gabi. ikaw, ako, at ang awit. or something that sounds like that.

kundiman, country songs, opm, at kung anu-ano pa ang pinapatugtug don. eddie perigrina, nora aunor, elvis presley, pilita corales, at mga sikat na singers nung 50's hanggang 70's ang featured lagi. masarap pakinggan. nakakaaliw. eto yung mga panahon na may mga singers pa na gumagamit ng mga pangalan na tulad ng sue,susan, vera, at lahat ng old school na cutesy names. kakaiba lahat, kahit mga boses, accompaniment, areglo ng mga kanta, kakaiba yung mga melody. napaka simple, minsan hindi pa malinis yung recording, pero madaling sabayan at matandaan. may kakaibang appeal eh.

nakakatuwa ang mga kanta ni nora aunor, ang paraan nya magsalita, ang enunciation. medyo baduy din yung iba lalo na kapag may narration. mga awitin nung uso pa ang jukebox. kasi halos lahat ng kanta, galing sa mga jukebox kings and queens ng iba't ibang dekada. nakakainis lang kasi dalawang araw magkasunod pinatugtog yung kanta ni cliff richard na italian. nakakaaliw din sa isang banda, lalo na yung mga spanish songs na ubod ng lambing.

at ang last song syndrome ko ay "something stupid". pero version ni ate vi at ni bobot. super pa-cute. hala.

yun nga. hindi nakakasawa. ang lakin ng sinasakop regarding genre. mahirap ipagsabi sa iba, nakakahiya. pero talaga atang madali lang para sa akin maka-appreciate ng kahit anung klase ng music. hip-hop lang ang hindi ko talaga matripan eh. yun pa naman ang tugtugan ng mga tao sa village namin.

sabagay, kahit baroque pa iparinig mo sa kin, maappreciate ko yan.

late na naman ako sa opisina. at meron akong natanggap na tawag na tumagal ng 50 minutes. at 380 seconds ata ang target namin. partida lang nyan, maayos lahat ng dumadaan sa kin. pero di importante sa management yun eh.

ang lamig. masakit sa bituka.

can't wait

i don't think i'll be getting the promotion i applied for. my self-esteem's on the lowest level again. boohoo. nobody's called me yet.

i'll have to wait for feb and see what will happen. then i will make the big decision. i don't want to work here if i won't move forward in any way. one more month of waiting, then i'll have to work on how i can live without a job for a few months again. i'll have to look for a better job.

i'll go back to school come summer time. maybe i should study first. whatever. 3 more subjects then i'll be free. free to study flcd. yup, flcd-family life and child development. teaching methods. or maybe i'll take 18 units in education.for a person who really hates studying, this is a big step for me. i'll go free lance na lnag siguro while studying.

i'm so drained with the ideas i have. i can't wait for february to come. big big move.

basta, one thing i know for sure, i'll do good this year. i'm betting my ass on it.

will get these for sheezy!

things i'll save up for this year:

1. contact lenses
2. lomo cam
3.car repairs: new bearings, body reapir, a paint job,and new tires
4.more art materials
5. the detachable flash thingy for my pentax
6. new shoes,lots of 'em

raena will be looking for the flash for my pentax, so that'll be erased from my list in a few days. i'll be selling my ipod to get the lomo cam, then i'll probably get a better ipod.

but next year, i'm setting my eyes on these:

1. a digicam
2. a laptop
3. plane tickets to asian countries
4. a high payin job

of course, i need a high paying job to get the things i want.

uphill,downhill.

friday night, i was 7 minutes late. and i had the nicest surprise waiting for me: i am now a team lead associate. no, i am not too ecstatic about it. i was only being sarcastic. it's actually a lateral movement. it's just a title. i get a mini-team within my team. ugly thing is, i am under observation for 3 weeks. if i'm not effective, they pull me out. ouch. it's my self-esteem that we're talking about here. uglier thing: for every agent under me who'll miss work, i get to do 1 hour of OT.

saturday, my friends from work kept teasing me about the whole thing. ha! nyarrr... well, i don't blame them. i have little product knowledge, actually, since i never study. i was roasted over dinner at chili's. TA abba. di maganda pakinggan.

things can get worse pa pala. blythe is in my group. i know what to do! i'll ask the OM to get her to go on an LOA. hehe.

anyway, while we were having dinner last saturday, joe from reqruitments called me. they scheduled me for an interview. monday, 5pm. bummer. my shift won't start till 8:30.

sunday night, i went to camille's place for luke's despedida. i made beef and shrimp kebabs, garlic and parsley potatoes, and my special smelly buttered and herbed corn. had black olives,too.we also had the crackers that taste like cardboard, garlic and cheese dip, green olives and capers. all washed down with red wine. lovely night.

i've been here in makati since 5 pm and i'm rather tired. the exam was a breeze, but the interview itself was hell. i had i hard time looking for the right words to say. although i know that i answered everything correctly, my vocabulary was for sure unimpressive. well, if the job's really meant for me, it'll be mine.

let's pray.

oh, cheesiness!

jan 12

i woke up feeling really bad. physically, i was hurting, due to lack of sleep, and mentally, i was drained. my voice was hoarse and i still was sleepy even after i took a bath. i drove all the way to makati but i already knew that i'd be unproductive. i decided against going to work while parked behind the building.

was too tired and sore to go towork but i just had to hang out with a friend. i found company. i had 2 cups of coffee and she had 3 beers. mental note: sisig is never good with coffee. the conversation was funny as usual,we being both clowns. the night was cool enough to stay outside the cafe, and it was a relief to get off from work that easily. our laughter was drowned by the loud music coming from the speaker behind me.

but we had to call it a night since she's setting the world record in getting the most sleep in a week. i followed her example and went home.

the drive home required real air so i turned the airconditioning off and opened tha windows. the radio played country music. it was my fault, i left the ipod on while i was in the cafe. i was stuck with AM eadio but alison krauss' voice proved to be relaxing. then i suddenly remembered.

...and just like that, i experience ou all over again...

we went out to celebrate something.our birthdays,perhaps. you bought tickets to a concert. it was one of the best gifts you've ever given me. before the concert, we had dinner at mario's kitchen. and if i'm not mistaken, we had lengua and paella. i t wasn't really good, dinner, i mean. but the thought of having a slightly fancy dinner with you was thrilling enough.

when we got to the theater, we found out that we had to sit on monoblock chairs. you got us SRO tickets. it was okay, but i had to sit next to the wall,and there were fat cable wires between me and the wall. it's just so you to decide on the last minute.but i'm so used to that. okay, i admit i was pissed,but when gary v(ugh) went on stage, i immediately forgot that i was annoyed. and i never thanked you, right? well, thank you.

we also bought black gary v mugs. teehee. baduy.

that's quite a good flashback scene there. my selective memory does sablay din pala. well, the memories do come, but i only remember bits and pieces, no more details, and most of them really cloudy. but i won't deny, the thoughts made me smile. i get cheesy. don't get me wrong; it doesn't mean that i want it all back.

you see, being single takes a lot of time getting used to, but it's not as bad as we all think. i'm in my 21st month of singlehood,and even though it gets painful time to time, i'm happy. that's why i get bigger by the day. oh, how i wish i was angry and bitter again. just kidding. the benefits of being angry and bitter did a lot for me, though. that was the time when i needed to produce a lot of endorphins to make myself happy. thus, i worked 2 jobs and went to the gym everyday for 2 hours. i literally tried to kill myself with work and i lost a lot of weight, too. bad thing: i am a happy girl now so i dropped gym. a lengthy supply of happiness keeps me from going to the gym. haha.

oops, i almost hit a road block...

my headache was back and an acid attack was on its way. i wasn;t supposed to drink coffe. stupid me. la dee da. i ran over a red thing that looked like a box. it went 'thud' under tha car. what if it was a bomb or something like that? i could've right there in the lonely sumulong highway. morbid thought.

antipolo. late night smells like poultry and shit.

oh, they're fixing up mikko's house.they chopped down the bougganvilla tree. it's spelled that way, right? whatever.

i hat puddles on the road. they look so unsanitary.

i wish i could go blogging while driving so that i won't forget anything. i mean, i have lovely thoughts while in the car. i almost ran over a white cat with black spots.

mental note: i need to get a bottle of green cross alcohol.

that's it. suddenly , i was empty. the radio still played really soft country music. sounded like elvis presley crooning with all that shakey voice of his.

i'm a 26 year old kid with a red plastic fireman's hat set on my bedpost.

wait till you see my gold plastic viking helmet.it has two horns.

inbound,eto na po

we're taking in calls now. it is so stressful. and i usually get irate. after 5 minutes in a call, i get irate. all of the calls feel like the first. the new shift also sucks. 8:30pm to 5 am. no social life.

i hope this year i'll get lucky in everything. okay, i won't wish for it. i'll work for it.

still, no news regarding my application for the promotion.

uh oh, first week for the kids and i can already feel the pressure. the junior students' convention is coming and my students need to submit their art entries next friday. how convenient. the new shift and school.

i wish i do have the shit that pow teased me about. the one that'll keep me awake forever.

i guess i'll be keeping my new year's resolution regarding sleep.