Friday, September 30, 2005


my life is so monotonous. i work, i get drunk, i miss work deliberately, i get drunk, i go to school, i sleep,i play with kids, i try so hard to stay up to see friends, i get drunk again. lookee...

Image hosted by boring!! just kidding...

i made amends with a friend last saturday. finally. sometimes, setting your life straight and moving on have their own twists we can't control. i'm glad it's all good now.


2 jobs, school, a lot of stress,unfulfillment, but with a big salary


1 fulfilling job, freelancing,painting, my own business, my own time, but probably less money

dali lang naman di ba to choose? why can't i just yet...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

wow. what a week. this is the worst week of my entire working life. and it's not yet even half done.

monday started okay. i had lunch with samio and noel at yellow cab. i got home and slept early. i woke up at 7 pm, of course i didn't want to be late for work. i used the truck since my car can't be used on a tuesday, coding eh. hay, i was almost in junction around 9:10 pm, which is already halfway na from antipolo to makati when the truck started to make this wierd funny sound. although it wasn't really menacing ( i thought probably a hole somewhere in the muffler), i had to call dad to inform him. he told me to go to a gas station to put some oil in the engine, but it didn't go away. so i went back home, even though i know i won't die of it, but i felt really uncomfortable driving a car which sounded like a chopper.

dad offered to drive me to makati. well, actually, it was me who did the driving to makati. sweet. i got to the office 51 minutes late.

okay. i took a cab with ali the following day to rosario and got on an fx up to antipolo. i was literally dead tired tuesday morning. told dad i'll just report sa school ng 1pm so i could sleep. e si noel started texting, i had to say goodbye na lang. e eto namang si noel kala mo naman magiibang bayan, at nagpapalipas pa ng oras kakatext sa kin habang nasa airport sya papuntang cebu. e uuwi naman siya kinabukasan. after 8 messages, i told him that i wanted to sleep. ayan, natulog pa...iwoke up at 2pm,went to shiloh,left at 4pm. i thought i could sleep na ulit.

but, no...we had to test the caramel apple we saved up last sunday night pa. it will probably be our new product this december for selling. ay ang sarap. sticky caramel that feels warm in your mouth plus the crisp juicy sweet and tart taste of the apple! wonderful.

i slept around 6pm and woke up at 7:30. to make the long story short, i fell asleep in the office. at kamalasmalas ko, sa tagal na di na ko natutulog sa office, ayun, a client and a boss caught me while i was in dreamland. all attempts to wake me up proved to be in vain. pero sa totoo lang, di ko talaga alam kung ano nangyari eh. tulog nga kasi ako eh.

2 booboos in a week.

ali, my boss, coached me today. for 3 hours. and that came with two memos. one for excessive lates and one for sleeping. astig.

i'll be getting a final written warning the next time i come in late. after that, termination. mukhang i'll be resigning earlier than i thought.

well, thanks to noel who texted me kanina kaya i woke up on time. sana lang, makaabot ako ng december. sabagay, kung hindi, okay lang din.


Thursday, September 22, 2005

cotton candy sweet

i've been getting such handfuls of sweetness from everyone...and i love the feeling.
the imaginary hugs and kisses are as lovely as the real ones.
to raens, who's always there to listen and give me pats on the back (as well as kicks on the butt), thanks so much for everything. i love you, i love pow and razi, and the wake up call i got from you and razi ( who's really sweet and called me to thank me for the hotwheels), i love our cold day chit-chats and coffee, our warm nights with wine, basta, everything. you know that.
to my students, who gave me cash hahaha!! they know i wanted to get a book but can't go anywhere so they gave me what they collected plus super touching notes. hmmm...sarap. i got me a copy of norweigan wood ( na dapat pala kay raens!!harhar...long story) and the alchemist. love ko kids ko...and of course, they treated me to cotton candy last wednesday. hay, i'm such a sucker for cotton candy.

Image hosted by

and to my cvg friends...alam ko na, kaya i'll have to act surprised. =D

of course, a little bird told me. and i am not dense kasi, forgetful, yes, but dense, NO.

and to tinay, who helped me find images for my design theory project. i am so grateful. and the more i get to see her, the more i miss her. actually, i've been missing her for the longest time. and i'm so glad i get to spend time with her more often now. she was my sparring partner from 2nd year to the 3rd. i had dinner at her house yesterday. dati nga everyday she would always say, "di man lang nahiya!" aru!

life is sweet talaga.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005


ayayay!! i am 26.
i had saturday and sunday to celebrate it. tiring but fun.
saturday meant a whole day in makati. had lunch at chef d'angelo with celle,blythe and ali. then shopping. had japanese cheesecake plus drinks( care of aeah, isa pang birthday girl) in the late afternoon with the three,aeah, yoshi, and lemuel. after that, we dragged ourselves to artwork glorietta, where i got to see tinay, samio, and noel. the girls went shopping again. finally, the time came for my big splurge.
i met up with raena. i got my hair done at toni and guy. i am so in love with my hair. it finally stayed flat. and girly at that!
raena and i had dinner and wine at cascada. sarap the conversation and the wine together. gino even dropped by to kiss me happy birthday. sweet.
drunk-drove home. harhar! but hell, i am alive!
sunday, we just had a nice dinner at grilla. after that, jeje, tel, and let-let bought me cake and coffee at seisha. fave hang-out place ng sunday nights.
gosh, i am so in love with my hair. it doesn't stand on its ends even after i wake up.

Image hosted by

as for my wish list...let's see...

i got a zippo, a new hairstyle, a new dog (andrew gave me tyler and am bringing him home as soon as i clean up the garage), and earrings. am still waiting for my nike shoes. thanks, dad!

to those who greeted me on my special day, thank you. i was dead tired when i got home and woke up with 15 messages. a lot pa came after that. sweet.

i love you all.

Friday, September 16, 2005

cold days

i played badminton today with my officemates. buti na lang for the exercise. kasi last night, well, actually throughout the shift pala, we didn't do anything but eat. our account treated us to a buffet by teriyaki boy. japanese food!for free! hala, gyoza, really good gohan, seafood teppanyaki, tofu steak, maki,sashimi,tonkatsu, and mixed tempura and refillable iced tea. san ka pa? sa convergys na!

Image hosted by

anyway, after work, we played badminton nga. grabe, i miss working out. had my fill of that, too.and went home at 12:30. i was in sumulong highway around 1 and took pictures.

Image hosted by

these were taken at 1 in the afternoon. where did my sunshine go? =D i'm not complaining. you know i love antipolo whenever it's drizzling up there.

it was so foggy. and nice. made me want to drive straight to raena's place to hang out and just relax. but then my room would be dark and cool din. i chose sleep. sarap.

looking forward to my birthday week. will get a really expensive haircut. goodbye bad hair days!

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

lagnat laki

i am either losing my marbles or just simply letting go. i find myself doodling and writing down random thoughts more. on paper. i want to just be.

i have asked people to come paint with me. i need to fly.

i went to my studio last sunday afternoon to check on the damage the hole on the roof caused. it just got my floor dirty. i'm moving back there by next week. i need to focus. and organize. and stop being a bore to myself.

Image hosted by

i know you can't actually read what i typed with the pictures. it doesn't matter anyway.

i was looking at my pictures from 8 years ago last sunday night. i was with chrisselle. it was really frustrating to see me that way. i had a flat tummy, and everything on my face was so defined. i have a goal now. i will lose weight!! i swear. i may not turn out that way again, but at least i could fit in those size jeans again harhar.

i can't do this anymore. everyday, i tell myself, i will let go of the job. but everyone else says differently. okay, let me swallow some of whatever pride i have left and see where this would take me.

i am getting older and older by the minute.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005


had a couple of nights out with friends last week. just what i needed.
wednesday, we celebrated raena's birthday with a couple of margaritas and red wine. learned how foie gras was made, the origins of the shabu-shabu, and why the halo-halo was considered a luxury a long time ago. it was a lovely night, the sky was red and makati was neither too warm nor too cold.
friday, tinay and i had dinner at the old spaghetti house. had a really nice time. we had to catch up kasi eh. bonding kami. i really did miss her a lot. will see her again on thursday.
after dinner, chrisselle came and we had a few shots of tequila at grilla. i'd been craving for tequila so we took the opportunity to get a little drunk. ay, she had 6 glasses of bailey's na pala before we met so, weng-weng na sya. grilla closed early so we went to padi's.
we wanted to sit in the bar kasi we were thinking of movies where people drink in a bar. so there we were.drinking in a bar at the bar. ang saya. we had a rack of tooters. for just P95, you get 4 in a rack. grabe. i loved it. unfortunately, the other girls were to lazy to go, too. but i had fun kahit 2 lang kami.
last night, tj and i made dinner. he grilled and baked the lamb, and i made the sides. i made mashed potatoes and super sarap corn and carrots. we found a new addiction: caramel sauce. yup, with vanilla ice cream. i love it more with pieces of old gold(dark chocolate with almonds).
anyway, today, i had a movie marathon. i was only interrupted because dad made me cook for his visitors. i made spaghetti which wasn't really good because i wasn't in the mood to cook. i just wanted to stay in front of the tv.
i'm reading paolo coehlo's by the river piedra i sat down and wept now. it feels heavy.
i have a good reason na to resign for crying out loud. i can't afford the gas prices anymore. plus i just discovered that i have 7 memos. hey,boss, i just think you forgot to terminate me! everything's not worth it anymore.
anyway, after leaving, with my separation pay, i'll enroll in a softwares crash course and buy myself art materials that will last me for a few months of continuous painting.

Friday, September 09, 2005


raena tagged me, too. a hundred things about myself:

1. i have a night job. i work in a call center. and i hate it.

2. i have a day job. i teach elementary and highschool kids english and arts. it is definitely stressful, and i love it and hate it at the same time.

3. i can't stand growing my hair long. i have funny hair. curls start to appear when they reach my shoulders.

4. i am leagally blind.

5. i don't eat sinigang and okra.

6. i hate watery fruits such as melons and watermelons. why chew water when you can drink it.

7. i can play badminton and am fairly good at it.

8. i have two tattoos: a fire swirl and a japanese butterfly crest.both on my back.

9. i bumped into another car only once, and it wasn't my fault.

10. i love to write.

11. i get sick whenever my ipod's away from me.

12. i love kare-kare.

13. i swim.

14. i paint. i die if i don't.

15. i have dark dreams. always. i don't even know what nightmares are.

16. i was actually able to stop smoking for a whole year. took it up again because it was raining and sam wanted coffee.

17. i finished a whole cassava cake on top of a tree in the playground on my 15th birthday.

18. i am a dog person.

19. i rarely wear shoes. i always have slippers on.

20. i love green.

21. i can actually dance.

22. i can do funny things with my voice.

23. i love making people laugh.

24. i am muscular, which is quite weird because i am fat.

25. i only have two pairs of jeans.

26. i hate mascots.

27. people call me "sir"

28. i go to school in my pambahay.

29. i believe in faeries. i can read cards.

30. i talk a lot. i somehow never run out of stories.

31. i am single.

32. i'm a virgo, turning 26 on the 18th.

33. i am flexible. i adjust to everyone easily.

34. i like driving alone and taking long trips.

35. i love to read. i try to squeeze reading into my schedule even if it kills me.

36. i will never live anywhere else but in antipolo. that is, unless he takes me to a house beside the beach.

37. i sing but i am not musical. i did classical and broadway.

38. i studied how to play the piano, but actually never learned.

39. i converse out loud with myself.

40. i have tapered fingers.

41. i wasn't born to study.

42. i dried and kept all the flowers geof gave me under my bed until a big storm came and washed them all away.

43. i have 2 gay friends. i was the first to know when they came out of the closet.

44. i used to study in the college of music.

45. i sleep in the office.

46. i love corn and japanese food.

47. i prefer cake over ice cream.

48. i actually graduated from my certificate course, finished my thesis...heck, what the hell am i doing in school again?!

49. coffeeholic.

50. i correct grammar involuntarily.

51. i don't get angry, i only get annoyed.

52. technophobic.

53. i love ketchup.

54. i hate math. i can only count up to 6 on weird days. i cannot multiply or divide numbers of more than two digits without writing the problem down.

55. i love accessories. i love making my own.

56. i have a multitude of bags.

57. i look like my dad, think like my dad, and snore like my dad.hehe.i'm the mini-me.

58. and for that reason, i cannot have fights with my dad. we use the same tactics. and it annoys my mom.

59. i think i'm generous. and broke. haha!

60. i don't get jealous. big issue sa ex ko yan hehe. yan tuloy, wala na kong boyfriend...harhar!

61. i sleep on my tummy except when i'm extremely tired.

62. i can predict my migraine attacks. i love the pain. it somehow reminds me of the joys of living. weird.

63. i love to go grocery shopping.

64. i love cooking for small groups.

65. i am in love with a good friend.

66. my right side is my best side.

67. i love taking pictures of people. they say i can capture the attitude and i know which angle is flattering for them.

68. i have a kalyo on my right knuckle. i don't know where i got it from until now.

69. i love eating out.

70. i lifted weights until they made me cry. i promise to go back to the gym and exercise.

71. i love gel pens.

72. i have a darth vader key chain for my car keys and freaked out when my dad sold my first car because he gave the keys away along with my yoda key chain!and i'm still pissed until now. that was 4 years ago, i think.

73. i can carry an empty lpg tank with my left hand, and a new one with my right. see how strong i am? but, mom, you have to remember, your panganay is still a girl...

74. i can't jog. i don't know how to.

75. i share my room with a sister, and we are really messy people.

76. we have bunk beds. but we only use the lower bed. my sister takes the night shift, i do the day shift.

77. i have lunch twice a day. 1 at 2am and 1 at 12 noon.

78. i have a lot of inaanaks.

79. i love the smell of mcspaghetti. it's my comfort food.

80. inspite of all my body fat, i get cold easily.

81. i'm the designated family driver. they make me drive even without sleep for more than 24 hours.

82. i have a disfunctional big big family. i l ove everyone anyway.

83. i will be a bum soon. but then i will be able to paint to my heart's content.

84. although i complain a lot, i am grateful for everything that had happened in my life. i think i'm a better person now.

85. i only keep a few sets of friends, but i plan to keep them forever.

86. my best friend is my fallback. i hope he gets married before we turn 35. haha! ay, inusog pala namin ng 45...ayoko talaga yan. joke lang namin yan.

87. i prefer staying in friends' houses than going out to bars.

88. i love black russians, red wine, and tequila.

89. realistic. i don't set expectations. i expect only the worse; it makes the good better and the surprises sweeter.

90. i like to plan and organize events, trips, and stuff. you can never go wrong with what happens next.

91. i can bake and i can decorate cakes.

92. i am domesticated. i'm just too lazy. haha. i can do almost everything in the house except iron clothes.

93. i think i am sweet. i fuss a lot over people i love.

94. i want to travel and see japan. it will be my first stop as soon as i get rich.

95. i love watching old films.

96. natural born killers turned me on. freaky.

97. i'm narcissistic according to blythe.

98. i can be really sarcastic. but sometimes i'm simply straightforward.

99. i have mood swings that make me dizzy.

100.i will succeed.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

sore eyes

i bumped into jez ( one of my patawa classmates from college. sparing partner ni mikko =) )yesterday in toy kingdom. o di ba, of all the places two adults could meet, sa toy kingdom pa. it was fun seeing him again, plus rachel, his girlfriend came pa. reunion ito. we had coffee and talked about whatever's happening with each other.
Image hosted by
anyway, i fell asleep while i was having classes today. grabe, my students tried their best to wake me up,though. i just went home and slept till 8:30pm. although the rain was hard when i got to c5, good thing the traffic was light, i got in the office a minute early.
i tried wearing my contact lenses today, now, my eyes hurt. i didn't notice that there was a heavy protein build-up on one of them. i need to have them boiled. i just don't know where. i wonder if i can do them at home? i think i'd risk it since they're worthless now anyway.
my eyes are still burning. i'm wearing my grandma eyeglasses now. grabe, 6k for a new pair of lenses! i'll be stuck with my pwet-ng-baso eyeglasses forever. nakakainis. para namang umuubos ng gasolina ang mata ko...
raens tagged me. i have to write a hundred things about myself. give me a day to think about it.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

wish list!

26 things i want to get for my birthday (but probably won't harhar!)
1. nike running shoes ( the one that looks funny and is so flexible; i saw them sa eastwood)
2. 3 new pairs of chucks--2 printed and 1 lavender
3. a digicam
4. a new pc for me and me alone
5. money for car repairs
6. socks
7. zippo lighters
8. the complete sandman series
9. a drill and clamp
10. a new hairstyle
11. contact lenses
12. time to exercise everyday
13. a trip to cebu
14. a trip to sagada, then to vigan, then ukay-ukay in baguio
15. unusual knick-knacks and accesories
16. art materials
17. my own place
18. a garden
19. a puppy, an english bulldog
20. tequila
21.a bean bag
22. a new bed
23. a solo exhibit
24. a tent
25. corndogs
26. a massage
hay...i can only afford socks eh. 26. tanda ko na.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

i don't want to think about it

well, everybody has to learn sometimes.
yup, change is inevitable. and bad can only get good, and sadness can only turn to happiness. poor to rich.ugly to beautiful.
if i were a guy, i'd try to treat other people with more respect towards their feelings.
please, not in my turf.
if i love you, i should protect you. i will not let others think ill of you.
i did not choose this lifestyle, you pushed me into it
if you can't have it the first time you asked, it is not yours to take by force.
forever lasts but for a short time, live with it.
some people are born with the fetish to destroy themselves. on their own. so stop bugging me.
value yourself. at least, try to pretend to. but if you can't, let other people treat you with value. stop selling yourself short. respect doesn't come cheap. and you are cheap.
grow up.
go away.
karma exists. beware.
i love vanilla sky. i wonder why.
get a room.
gravity takes its toll on your body. you get ugly. and soon we'll all be ugly fat people with thinning hair with no will to live. or we can be ugly thin people with thinning hair with no will to live. but in any case, we'll all be ugly people with thinning hair with no will to live. well,not if we can help it.
sleep is precious.
here i go...

sunday night

oh, we went to fiesta in angono sunday night because we wanted to eat at the buffet. unfortunately, the list was so long and we had to wait. we went to the casino for a while, kasi si chrisselle wanted to try the slot machines. carrie won something around P375. shempre si chrisselle, malas and never got anything. she gave me a coin to try and i got a whopping P30. astig.

Image hosted by

anyway, since madami ngang tao, we decided to go somewhere else kasi medyo gutom na kami noh. we waited for almost an hour before deciding to leave. we ended up sa ch2. after 3 songs sa videoke, we were able to eat.

masaya din.

actually, we left home a little late kaya di kami naka upo agad sa fiesta. si chrisselle kasi eh!

ala lang.

sad day

Image hosted by