Tuesday, March 27, 2012


i feel terrible. i have this crazy thought that China will change me. my mind's been blank for almost a week now. and i will be here for  3 more months until i get a week off to go home. this is definitely the worst place to get inspiration. i mean, here, changping town. i really could use some time off from the office. me, being young, wild, and free. haha. scrap the 'young' part. i feel old. maybe i've allowed myself to grow up a little bit more. 

there are nights when stay up, wide eyed in bed, thinking, i bit off more than i could definitely chew. my reasons for moving here are all based on annoyance and love. ironic. but what can i do, it's my nature. i guess i'm not a real bad person at all. i thought i was. i thought i was the type who'd run away from responsibility. seriously. or maybe, i really have nothing to live for? but then i think of my family. i do have a valid reason. unconditional love.

the perks of being here are not so grand, a little more pay and... yeah, that's about it. i've said before, the job's not so difficult. physically tiring sometimes when we move stuff around. nothing i can't deal with. and i've finally got the whole flying thing in control as i won't need to go do that for a while. the only thing i can't stand now is not having a real place to stay in. i'm squatting in my boss' apartment because he was too "busy" to get me one. i hate being this uncomfortable when you can't even unpack your bags. yeah, that makes me feel shitty.

i think china will change me. make me boring and senseless. in the PI, i was disconnected to the rest of the world, kinda, staying in my cave and all. but now, all the news i get are from HK, and the weather report around the world. haha, yeah, i forgot, the internet can keep me in the loop. unless of course, the proxy stops working. LOL. 

well,whatever. we make the most of every situation we're in, right? gotta put my game face on, and stare endlessly at my laptop.

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