Saturday, March 27, 2010

i like to keep it simple.

i don't know why i attract this certain kind of people. i feel so much pain whenever i am forced to have conversations-no, it kills me every time i have to be in the same room as them. even if there are people who declare themselves as free spirits, enlightened ones, and unorthodox blabber mouths, i assure you, more often than not, they carry a lot of negative energy around. that's why i generally don't like being with adults. i prefer being with the kids, at least, all their angst are focused on one thing: curfew.

listen: i don't have any hang-ups. i just don't like sticky irritating annoying redundant people, places, and things. so don't force me to go near any of these if you don't want me lashing out on everyone/thing. i love my house, my mum, my dad, the dog, silence, my peace, and not being pretentious. i will not try so hard for people to think that i am an intellectual; my intelligence is displayed through my actions. also do not make me try to explain my art; it ruins everything. please do not analyze my 'weirdness'; i will not involve you in my mood swings. also, if you want me to respect all the beliefs you have invented, try not to be so rude when talking about the deity i believe in. don't make me talk; i am not one to argue simply because i am not the one who will feed your need for attention.

i tell you, i just want to be left alone. i provide for my own and i am content. no need to impress anyone, thank you, i like it simple. so if you disagree, look for your own kind.
generally quiet and happy here in my own little world. not angry anymore now. am excited for my new little adventures that will come soon. minding my own business, healing my almost-gone wounds, and waiting for my rocket to come- occassionally thinks of the pajama man and gets annoyed by bunny teeth but everything's steady here. i'm glad i turned 30. it makes a lot of difference. kasi pwede na ko maging cougar officially! bwahahahah!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

death by baygon and other nonsense

been sitting here in front of the laptop for almost four hours. watched a movie, edited some pictures(half-heartedly), and been inhaling smoke from the burning mosquito coil. the mosquitos are still biting now, probably got immuned and probably just enjoy the high the katol gives them. i'll be dead way before these tiny monsters die.
----------wow, kahapon pa to, pero same story of my life pa rin.

my dada will undergo ear surgery in saturday, friday there. and i'm kinda feeling weird about it since they haven't told me what it is for and my sister is also clueless. hay nako dada... ten said he's actually more worried about the bills than the thing that might be in his ear. so ten gave me her theory why dada always have had that thing with his ear. too much noise at construction sites. well, dada had ringing in his ears due to Ménière's disease (pronounced /meɪnˈjɛərz/[1]). According to Wikipedia, it is a disorder of the inner ear that can affect hearing and balance to a varying degree. It is characterized by episodes of vertigo and tinnitus and progressive hearing loss, usually in one ear. It is caused by lymphatic channel dilation,[2] affecting the drainage of endolymph. It is named after the French physician Prosper Ménière, who first reported that vertigo was caused by inner ear disorders in an article published in 1861. The condition affects people differently; it can range in intensity from being a mild annoyance to a chronic, lifelong disability.[3]
-------------no wonder dada was always annoyed by me when i was in college. lol.
i am bored. although a have a bunch of stuff to do, i can't find the energy to do them anymore. the school year isn't finished yet,and i'm on vacation mode already. oh, and no, i don't want to go on a vacation. i have to contradict myself. i really want to work, but this is not what i want to do right now. but still i had to, and finally i finished reading my students' term papers. nosebleed.

4 of my friends have new babies. i want one, too!
me: how come they keep on having babies?
yosh: because they like sex?
me: i like sex, too.
yosh: but they actually have sex.
oh, yeah. and i don't really like sex. i think it's overrated. even if tel thinks differently and doesn't believe me, i really still don't like it. haha. it comes with age and maturity. lol.
i'm annoyed. i don't want to be a home for the homeless. ulit, "the Homeless". isa lang kasi sya. hehe. i don't think i'm ready for ranting and negative energies since i just recovered from anger. gah. but i am maawain, i know. ok, i'll space out na lang so i won't have to listen. and i won't have to say "i told you so"...
gotta sleep. a few minutes more, and i'm gonna be too hungry. i hate sleepless nights. i still get to think about my happy thought and it's not making me happy anymore. peste.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

galit at nagpapaliwanag lang

i really hate not having anything to do. it makes me see details, and these details, more often than not, make me angry. let me rephrase that. details, for example, a stupid and senseless arguement, an unwitty remark, and plain stupidity, these, these make me angry.

and i've been angry for 2 weeks.

so i realized, i can't not have work. and i just can't work on one thing at a time. i have a need to multitask. according to my dear friend mumi, i have ADHD. my mum said one time, in passing, that i might have that, too, but wasn't put in therapy. thanks, mum! well, i do love to multitask because i get bored easily and i keep running around while working(and i only work on the computer. except of course i am also painting and washing the dishes at the same time).

daddy boss gave me things to do. yipee! happy! done! and now i'm bored again.

back to being angry. will update on my next mood swing.

Saturday, March 06, 2010

random sheeet ng mga drama queens

had a bad dream last night.

he hugged and kissed me and said, take care of blah blah and blah blah, especially blah blah because she's pregnant. if no one takes care of her, i will marry her.
i went, papakasalan mo ung hindi mo mahal at hindi sayo ang anak pero ako sinasabi mong mahal mo, hindi mo man lang makasama?

drama queen. waahahhahah!

having this conversation with a friend suffering from misery caused by love. itago nalang natin sya sa pangalang Rubi, ang bidang kontrabida.

Rubi: feeling ko kasi parang di natatapos kagagahan at kahinaan ko tuwing didikit ako dun eh

me: or baka naman dadating ka na sa point na magsasawa ka or mamahalin ka din nya. unaunahan lang yan

R: ang tagal, ang tagal tagal ko magsawa. shet

me: matagal talaga

R: feeling ko pag nadivert ko atensyon ko oka na ako. abba kasi nm 10yrs na

me: buti ka nga un mahal mo totoong tao eh. ako hindi. ni hindi ko man lang nahawakan ang kamay

R: mahirap nga yan. kaso abba...ang hirap din nmn kasi ng malapit nga...nakakasama mo.....pwede may mngyari ulit..... pero alam mong parang wala rin sya dun. mahirap mamiss ang taong nasa tabi mo lng

me: hindi naman kita pinapaasa. sinasabi ko lang na maswerte ka pa din kasi existent sha. kung ayaw nya pa rin syo, magiging manhid ka rin jan

R: yeah i know. excited na ako sa araw na maging manhid ako sa knya .kelan kaya yun? parang kasi lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko nagugulo pagnabubuang ako s knya

me: hahaha .ipagdasal mo lang yan na kung hindi para syo maging masaya na lang kayo pareho

R: abba, 10yrs ko ng pinagdadasal yan

me: mahirap yun ha... ako rin noh...

R: puki ng inang yan. mas masaya pa nga ako pag may gf yan hayup na yan

me: ...un arawa araw mong ipagdadasal na sana maging masaya sya at araw araw mo ipapaalala na hindi mo na sya dapat mahalin

me: hayy. eh wag ka na lang mainlove para masaya. taasan mo bigla ang standards mo hahah

R: yan talga nagpapabagsak sakin. or sabhin n nting SYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ang nagpapagbagsak sakin. leche. inisip ko nga abba....hindi kaya kung hindi ko sya naging frend.......10yrs ago, baka mas naging masaya or nasunod ko ang plano ko sa buhay ko na hindi ko lagi dinedepende sa thought na"baka sakali"

me: awwwwwwww... bata ka pa,marami pnag mangyayari sa buhay mo. i'm sure hindi eto un pinakamasakit na bagay kasi lalake lang yan meron pang mas matindi jan pero ang bottomline, hindi natin ikamamatay yan

R: nakakaumay na kasi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! grrrrrrrr. abba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ganyan magusap ang mga sawi. lol. pero wala naman nareresolve. ay, si rubi lang pala ang walang nareresolve, pusong mamon kasi na binabad sa gatas, palibhasa fag hag kaya grabe mag emote. hahaha! kaya para sa mga bata na nagsisimula na umibig, uminom kayo ng maraming kape para nerbyusin kayo sa mga matatandang dalagang emo!