went to the cemetery today. was just gonna pay mum's memorial plan, but since i was there already, i decided to visit papang's grave. one thing i discovered- it feels good to cry in the cemetery because nobody would ask you what the fuck are you crying about.
i cried and i prayed hard. i prayed for survival. what else can i do?
i know what to do really. but when you need to really really live, it is not an option. believe me, it will never be an option. but if i need to swallow my pride, i'll just keep quiet.