Tuesday, June 17, 2008

so here am i, trying to write my thoughts again. i haven't been doing a lot of thinking lately until recently. well, you see, i am obsessed. i have been obsessing about this for years. and now it has come, but i have a very bad feeling that i won't be able to get it.
the perfect spot for a cafe. eversince i made tambay there during my college years, i've always had this idea that i want that spot to be mine. unfortunately, i do not have money to pursue this. but then i don't think it's just the money...i think i don't have what it takes. i envy people who can just actually do it. haha, and the other day i was telling my bestfriend that i don't want to live in the US because i won't have anything to do there, that my skills are limited.
i guess i really am scared of leaping. my comfort zone had been well fluffed up and i am afraid to step out. and i always thought that i am a strong person. i am afraid to walk around manila because i might not be able to get back home. i am terrified of talking with people because i don't think i'm smart enough. and right now, i should be leaping...
but i'd rather crawl back into my hole instead. sucks to be me.

3 comments:

Larry said...

i guess we all have our own ghosts.

i was in the same boat as you a few years ago. i was scared to do stuff because i was afraid i wasn't good enough. eventually, i realized that i should just go do it. fuck failure. i'm not as succesul as i want to be but ya know. baby steps. you can do it!

abba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
abba said...

thanks, larry. i should just do it, i know. yeah, it's a little bright naman.i'll blog about it soon.