little miss weird

ha, i don't know what to write about. i already wrote a few paragraphs, but weird as i am, i can't even follow my own trail of thought.

well, it's 4:30 am, and i just had a steak and an egg. i am on a high protein diet which is really making me happy. unfortunately, aside from the diet, i am a mess. not so much like the past 2 weeks, but still a mess. been burnt out and stressed. i allowed myself to cry last night after watching a totally unrelated video posted by someone in facebook. apparently, i couldn't contain the mixed emotions gripping my guts. so because i am only human, i cried. it was easier last year, when august 2010 came, i just let myself cry profusely during the china trip(while watching 'rupaul's drag race' and 'work of art' even of it kinda freaked carlo out). so i guess, i'm just bound to suck it up and work again, and pretend that i am and everything is fine.

i'm lonely.