Monday, September 05, 2011

my complex

i hate septembers! it always feels like i'm dying whenever september hits.  i'm a confused man-child. if i were only a man...

so being me is so difficult to explain. when people hear me say stuff that i am shy or unhappy, they shudder in disbelief. LOL. not shudder, really, but they actually laugh and throw witty remarks at me. not so witty, rather lame, but yeah, no one believes me! is it my fault that i am a paradox? can it be not possible for me to be two things at a time? LOL, parang schizophrenic lang. 

and when people tell me that being unhappy is all in the mind, shempre! anong sasabihin ko, oo nga, it's all in the mind and my mind is f*cked up nga.  eh where else can sadness come from, right? i know it's in my head and that's why i try to stop it.

ohhhh, i am still in like with papito. hmm. i wonder why i keep crushing on men i can't get. ah, because when they're mine, i lose interest. but if the heavens and the oceans turned and the tooth fairy gave me papito, i promise to be a good girl. LOL. i think i am saying this because i know there ain't the tiniest chance that papito will come running after me. hay..just touching his palms give me the goosebumps. and now, another teenybopper photo:

and once again, his eyes are blurred to protect his blue-eyed identity, and my mouth blurred to wipe of that huge-ass smile on my face. hmm. i like him a lot not because he's young. haha! but if i had a checklist, he'd have a lot of those ticked boxes. well, it doesn't really matter. so let the old maid have her share of day-dreaming. and yeah, i think his brother noticed that i fancy him. and now i know i will once again regret posting this picture after an hour because he knows 2 of the blogs i am keeping. bwahahaha! but it doesn't really matter because i might never see him again. ever.

so. i will soon bury myself in work, so i will stay far away from blogger and facebook. i think i still have jet lag. oh. this is normal now. 8:20 and still no sleep for me. ok dear old drawing board, let's go consummate our love. LOL. damn i'm dizzy

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