whiney me.

rewind:

papang passed away around 5 am of sept. 22, 2007. i got the text message from my tita asking me to come to their place. i got there and saw papang lying lifeless on his new bed. he was still warm. he died in his sleep. he looked really peaceful. days before that, he had trouble breathing and was in pain because of his bed sores, but he never complained. tita said he would only cry whenever she had to clean his wounds. but the night before he died, his breathing relaxed and he seemed not to struggle anymore.

i think dying isn't bad as it seems. when you die, it ends pain and misery, the body rests, the spirit lives on. i think death affects the living more. when death comes, the people around become overwhelmed. because death brings change. and change becomes scary when you are not prepared for it. routines change, spaces are created. absence brings emptiness and emptiness brings sadness. and the dead won't feel any of it. but the living will.

being prepared for death means you have to accept it. either ends, you should be ready.