Monday, May 08, 2006

back home in antipolo. back to painting. and i've found inspiration from our walls. literally.

when i got back from bicol, i found our ceiling lowered and it got me choking. got a little claustrophobic. and our wallpaper were stripped off. so ali, my baby sister, and i started working! doodle galore! it's a temporary freedom wall, as dada announced last night. well, the images are definitely going to find their way in my paintings. thanks, aliboo!

still haven't received my pictures and i'm starting to doubt that they'll reach me. tsk tsk.

the weather's somehow changed and it's doing me good. been watching nice movies and taking my time relaxing. you see, the coming schoolyear will find me both teaching and studying. have decided to finish my bachelor's degree. and definitely, after that, will study to be a SPED teacher. i have thought about it a million times. i guess i really love to teach and will be doing it for a long time. this thing, i'm really sure of.

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conversations lately are held with chrissele, lets, and joanna. they range from love, to ex-boyfriends, to future plans, well, anything, everything. the questions raised are really stupid, shallow and sometimes pathetically idiotic. what are the top ten things you want to do before you die? if you were given 3 months to live, what are the five things you really want to do? if given 50 thousand bucks to spend in a day, what would you buy? bleeeech. but it entertains us and ends the boredom.

we've been thinking of reasons why i get easily depressed. the winner might be the fact that i have so much free time that i have all the time to analyze stuff and think on sorry information about me. didn't feel this back when i was too busy with work and tormenting myself. another one came from tj and me. it could be like this because once long ago, i've carefully planned the future with someone and when everything came crashing down, i came crashing down with it; it's hard to start again at this age, probably. blah blah.

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prayed earnestly for everyone to get all the chance to be happy. and that good things come your way. perhaps i pray this because i have accepted the fact that i will never be happy, nor content. whatever comes my way, i will never be complete. if i do not get the chance to help you, in any which way, may the glorious and wonderful elements visit you and help you instead.

may i complete me. somehow. in any which way.
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hay. i need to cut down on tomatoes, eggplants, and those leafy greens that are high on uric acid. i've been making really yummy iced coffee almost everyday. i hate summer days. especially those spent someplace else instead of the beach. i hate my feet, they look disgusting. harhar.

given 5 days to live, what is the last thing you want to do? me, climb upstairs and lie down beside a so familiar body.

to die successful,one must stick her head in the oven.



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