ho humm. i just can't seem to let go of this unbelievably uncomfortable separate universe inside my guts. i am giving up. i have a truckload of manic butterflies fluttering inside my stomach, that sometimes i begin to wonder, maybe this is the reason why i got i big tummy. oh, to be totally sober and to have a cottony mouth on a bright thursday afternoon! the weather has gone from totally wet to ugly humid. i hate the fact that my daydreams are a bunch of episodes taken from the past. i hate the weather, i detest the memories!
my mom and my baby sister are sick. the house is too dusty and the dog has an eye problem. i cannot be comfortable in our room and there is no cold water in the fridge. thus, i spent my daily series of whining in the studio and stick to the fact that the silence i create is for the best. i drink beer like soda and hard liquor has suddenly become a hobby. uh oh.
i groaned and moaned and went crazy over thinking about spanish 11 classes i have to take this coming semester. how i hate languages! i thought of going to a shrink and see if i can ask for a special note that i can give to the spanish teacher, stating that i'll go looney if they try to make me speak spanish in class. imagine me, in a foreign language class. if you can't respect me, try thinking of my age. i am gonna die.
after 2 years of being single, i admit i miss being in a relationship. question is, now, do i miss the boyfriend or the circumstance? i miss the arguements and the making up. i miss the wasting of time making goo-goo eyes and i miss the stupidity of hugging while sweating excessively. i miss watching movies with the guarantee of having someone to drag along and the certainty of someone there to tell you that there's something on your face or that you smell really gross already.
but what the heck, i feel that it is gonna be weird to have a boyfriend again.
lord, i don't really care about myself, but can you just give my parents a cute son-in-law?
in the meantime, i still wanna be free, and i still want to enjoy a pathetic old maid's life. and i can't really cease from being a pathetic old maid, because i don't have much of a choice. i still enjoy jack and coke with raens and evenings spent with the girls. i very much enjoy all my friends' company. i want to do the things i couldn't have done if i've gotten married last year. i want to sleep more, read more, and smoke more. and study. and succeed. and be understood.
but if ever my virtual boyfriend sends me money, i'll accept. madali naman ako kausap ehehe.
blythee gave birth to a baby girl last may 12. tamika lee.
and i forgot to greet yoshee. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOSHEEE! may 14. sorry, bad memory.
i need to lose weight, for crying out loud!
and i need a massage.
and a haircut.
i'll be in the musikahan and pintahan sa reposo on the 27th and the 28th, painting faces. enrollment is on june 6 and 7 for graduating students. classes start that week, too, and i m the advisor for grade 3 and 4 students. 3 subjects to wrestle with. gonna be though. god, i need to take vitamins.
going back home to watch friends.