Thursday, July 07, 2005

i wanna shoot myself in the head...
do i fall in love too easily?
songs, the beach, rainy days, my ipod, bags, accessories, coffee, pills, friends, pain, books, secret hideaways, late nights, men---i guess i do get hooked easily.
but what sets the boundaries, what fits the exact definitions?
i love the beach that i'd probably leave everything behind for a few days for it. but then it's conditional still. rainy days are sweet but summer still rocks. songs and my ipod--can't give them up--but then i can spare a few hours for recharging. bags and my abubots-- i stop depending on my budget. coffee, i can live without especially if i'm on xenadrine. books can be replaced by much needed sleep, and that also goes for late nights. pain can be bought but proves to be expensive and unnecessary. ho hum.
friends make me reach out too much, but i love it. yup. i fall in love with friends. though sometimes fatal, i still get into friendships too deep. but connecting with people gives me a certain satisfaction i don't even get from family. and i like it. trusting too much has its downfalls but then i learn and i reconstruct. and now i finally found that special set of different individuals worth keeping for life and i love them from here to there, to the bed, to the floor, to the window, to the heavens, to the stars, to the universe...
then why should it be any different from loving men? well for one thing you dummy(i am referring to myself now in the second person), is that you fail to discern it from infatuation.
so, i guess i don't "fall" for men that easy. it took a long time before i fell for this last guy for the others, nakuha lang sa suggestion yun.
anyways, i've been spending more time with tel nowadays. thanks to carrie, our resident ermitanyo who won't get out of her house, tel and i have more time to talk. not that we don't like carrie ha, nagkakataon lang. anyways ulit, just today we talked about our boyfriends from the past. and the topic about love and respect came up. so what is important? we both agreed that the latter is. that's what these guys lacked.
do girls get respect pa? based on the series of events that had occured in my life as well as to some of my girlfriends din this year, isa lang ang sagot...wala!!! well, maybe, we are just having a bad year, having meddled with a bunch of assholes during the first part of the year. kaya siguro girls become tougher kasi they have to deal kahit once in their lives with such.
but shemps, in fairness to some of the guys out there, marami din namang mababait. yun nga lang either taken na sila or bakla sila. hehe.
sometimes i do miss having a partner. just during foggy days sa antipolo, and hot choco with my girls makes me forget about it. ewan ko ba, pagnaguusap kami naaawa na ata kami sa sarili namin for being single. kaya lang, pagnagtawanan na talking about being committed, nawawala yung wanting eh. pickleminded in naburo na ang mga utak namin sa gin. hehe.
love, love, love. pagtag-ulan nga naman.
haha, i found a stilnox sa medicine box namin.
who needs boyfriends when we have cedric, mark, mike and jeje around? they're more dependable pa than real boyfriends. feet are freezing.


thinking out loud said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
thinking out loud said...

hahaha. sorry na delete ko yung first comment. my fingers are getting stifff from designing.
anyhoo abs, as much as i want to be the man in your life, i can't. coz i'm no lesbian baby, but i can always be the better friend :)
i'll take you out on a date soon. the works. promise

abba said...

raens,ang ganda ng blog mo!
ano ba yan, hindi na nga ako maghahanap ng boyfriend kasi may ukayukay jackets na ko to keep me warm haha!

friends will always be better than everything else.