Friday, April 08, 2005

i am in no mood to work.

painted a little yesterday. i am going to finish 5 of the egg series before september, i swear. this is so perfect. i have no life. i just want to paint.

will go to sagada soon. i want to get away from everything. i just feel so tired, and used, and taken for granted. gosh, i'm so whiney today. i can't stand this, you know, not getting what i want.

just wondering why some people don't ever see the good in things. yep, am guilty of that. but i'm not complaining about other just sucks that some people don't see beyond skin. some people don't see beyond everything. i hate. i hate. i just want to shove reality in their faces.

been craving for pain. the physical kind, ha. i want to have my tongue peirced. let's see how long i can stop myself. i should just opt for the pain exercise brings. god, i'm too fat! i should stop eating greasy breakfasts. haha. but the chismis is still a good alibi.

let's see...5 paintings before september and 20 pounds before june...will do.

started a new piece. will call it "peace". for angono. god, i hope the exhibit pushes through.

i'm going to throw away my phone! one texts me anymore...boohoo...

i need to save up money to bring my sister to puerto in june. i suddenly felt so old. my sister's almost an adult now, my students have graduated from highschool, and kids now call me "tita". ayus. old and tired. physically lang, mind you. i don't really mind getting older. i just annoy myself when i start talking about myself. i have so many stories about me now. i'm not at all interested in my stories, but it just so happens that i have lived on this earth for so long and i start to sound so full of myself.

blythe and i keep talking about men. men that are so insensitive to others' feelings. the world is so full of them. blah. at least we have gay friends who keep the balance of nature. haha.

my phone bill's so high. my stupidity. irony is, ang sarap kasi eh.

No comments: