Monday, April 11, 2005


i have no problems with self-esteem lately. although sickly annoying, some friends keep my morale up. i just wonder why it is taking me forever to get this all right.
i keep on praying (oh yes, i do pray) that the grace god provides be sufficient for me. i don't want to ask too much questions. i just hope god fixes me quick. i need all the help i can get. bakit kaya, ako na nga yung naipit, di pa ko yung unang naasikaso? well, i have to wait for my turn. QUIETLY wait for my turn. i literally keep on tossing and turning na nga eh, waiting for my friggin' time. i don't even want to be consciously waiting for it.
remember "vanilla sky" ? it would be nice to die and dream and have the choice if you wanna wake up or not. HELLO ,TECH SUPPORT!!!!! wish i find myself waking up tapos everything was just a dream lang pala. i could do things right siguro.
alin yun? not to fall in love with a friend! haha! about that, it's better this way nga, that we don't see each other often. kaya lang we still talk, but hey, friends nga di ba? nako...sabi nila, maybe i'm just in love with the feeling of being in love. well, i find nothing wrong with that. and mike agrees with me. sabi nga namin, we're still doing ourselves a favor. why stop yourself from doing what you want? eh di ikaw din yung olats if pinigilan mo. instead of keeping your frustrations to yourself, idamay mo yung mahal mo! ahahhahahhaha!! para magulo rin utak nya di ba? alangan namang ikaw lang...joke lang yan. you know what we mean...
speaking of love...why do most girls want to experience yung ligawan? i find it so unnecessary. and a lot of people would agree with me on that. teka, would you waste your time and money for someone you don't love? hoy, wag kayong plastic. hey, it's true that you don't make ligaw to a person you make ligaw to someone you really like. flowers and chocolates? ewwww...hindi naman nakakakilig yun eh. kaya lang naman kinikilig ang babae kasi feeling nya ang ganda nya. totoo, di ba? hey, i can feel beautiful and be beautiful anytime i want to. i don't need the help of someone else.
ayus na yung click muna, then yung spark. relationships would be much stronger kung ganon. when you start out as friends and then find yourselves loving each other. walang inhibitions, kahit magkita pa kayo na sobrang bangag, lasing, bagong gising, walang ligo, di pa nagtootoothbrush. one more important factor is the communication between yourselves. hey, there are things na madali sabihin sa friend. eh kung friends kayo, di ba broad ang scope nyo sa insights and outlook ng bawat isa. yun yung masarap eh. ibang klase ang understanding and patience ng friends, kesa biglang kayo na after all the ligawan na punong puno ng do i say? pretentions. di katulad ng lovers lang, puro kakitiran ng utak, kaya dudahan ng dudahan,walang tiwala sa isa't isa, walang bigayan, maghihiwalay lang kayo after 7 years and three months! hehe.
i think it's better na oi, i like you, let's try this, if it doesn't work, let's go back to where we started, no hang ups. wala naman talagang risks eh. nasa level of intellect lang yan ng tao. it's just how you ride the trip. masarap kung alam mo kung paano.
ako, i sorta made ligaw to someone i extremely love. e hanggang like lang sya. who cares? yun yung risk.but ayuz lang. cool pa rin. masarap e. i enjoyed the ride, i didn't deprive myself of my happiness. sure, mabigat pa din, but i'm taking it a day ata a time. masarap ma-surprise.
dadating din yan. sakyan mo lang.

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