Tuesday, March 22, 2005

the irony of things

saturday -- just when i thought i was okay to let go of the feeling, an accident happened on that gloomy saturday morning. we were happily waiting for afternoon to go to angono to have fun. had a lot of thinking to do whether i should go to the tattoo convention first. but i had to stop myself to lessen the complexities of things. i wanted to stay as far as possible so i won't hurt myself too much.
the news arrived around 11am. i just started crying like crazy. wanted so badly to go right then to be with him. i could have had easily done that. but then, i did a mental check...it would be like intruding.sino ba ko di ba?
i wasn't in my right mind siguro because i made a truce with god. sacrificed whatever's there.
i worried a lot on that day, but eventually felt better after i spoke with him around 10pm. his mom's condition had improved. so ayun, nahulog ako sa pool sa sobrang kaligayahan ko. slept on the couch, was out cold, wet, and light in the head.
truce -- i think it's gone. well, not entirely, there's still a little tinge of it. i'd give up my happiness for him to have his.
i don't feel too bad...i little sad, yes, but i'll live.

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